You're Wrong, I'm Rafferty: The Chief's Farewell Address

Kevin Bacon once said that all good things must come to an end.  But he never said anything about spectacular things like YWIR.
Actually, I don’t know if Kevin Bacon ever said that, unless he was talking about his career.  But just because something is better than good probably doesn’t make it exempt from these wise words.  That is why I feel it necessary to inform you that not only will this be my last column, but it’s not even going to be a good one.

Before you start rioting, let me clarify.  I love seeing my name and picture in The CN way too much to give it up entirely.  But next year some things are going to change.  For example, I’m giving up this prime real-estate to Bob (see next page).  He’s a good guy, you’ll like him, maybe even like like him.

 I’m not going to write weekly.  I don’t remember the last time I finished this column by “dead”line.  Recently it’s been more like “feeling a little under the weather”line.  It’s nothing that a couple shots of Admiral Nelson couldn’t clear up.  Maybe I’m too busy, or maybe I just have poor time management skills.
I am also afraid that, as editor in chief, my opinions would be confused as the opinions of The CN as a whole.  I’m pretty sure this is happening already, but this is my way of trying to stop this horrible misconception.  We have a lot of nice people on staff, please don’t associate them with me.  

Giving up this post will also allow me to spend more time doing actual reporting. For those of you keeping track at home, you may have noticed I haven’t written too many news stories this year.  I’ve written one in this issue about JCU’s grades appeal process (see front page).  If professors have enough room on a syllabus to describe an attendance policy, they have enough room to describe the process students must go through when they feel they have been graded unfairly.

That’s always been the point anyway.  I wrote something ridiculous in hopes that you would pick up the paper to read this and then make your way to the real journalism; it’s in here, trust me.  
I have some pretty big projects lined up.  For example, I know those Arrupe Scholars are up to no good with their “Trayless Tuesdays.” I actually think it’s a psychology experiment in obedience.  People love to complain about these Tuesdays, but the trays are stacked in plain sight. It’s not like they are hiding them throughout the cafeteria. So don’t worry, next year the hilarity will continue, but maybe not in the same fashion.  

I mean, I’m going to try to make sure that each column has a point.  That means this one probably wouldn’t cut it.
I’m going to give perspective to what we’re covering, address what you, the reader is thinking, and argue why girls should give me their phone numbers.
I might be thinking of a new name too.  Actually, I’ll have a column naming competition.  Winner gets to buy me dinner.