You're Wrong, I'm Rafferty: Redefining the student newspaper

It’s taken them 27 years, but MTV has finally given its viewers what they have been demanding. They have finally given us “The Paper,” a reality show about a school newspaper.

Granted, the Florida high school the show is based on is bigger than John Carroll, and the staff is double that of the award-winning Carroll News. But the drama is still there. The pressure of the deadline, the intrastaff conflict, the passion for the craft of journalism— it makes “The Hills” look like “Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood.”

I don’t want to say that the show is accurate or true to life, but it kind of is. Journalists, even student journalists, can be a cutthroat bunch.
But, what is different about their paper and ours is how the editor in chief is selected. On the show, the paper’s adviser chose an annoying blonde that the show is based around. Annoying blondes are to MTV what the peacock is to NBC.
For The CN, it is a totally different process. An editor must first be nominated by one of his or her peers. That person must then complete a series of quests with the winner being named tyrannical dictator of the paper.

My adversary, Max “Juicy Pants” Flessner, excelled at the initial quest.
He began a Richard Nixon-like smear campaign against me, and he did it rather well. A Photoshopped picture of me in Michael Jackson’s bedroom almost cost me my career.
The rest of the quests I more than dominated him. I beat him in the glue eating competition, which stuck me back in first place. I could smell victory after the marker sniffing tournament.

As you can see, if the reality show were based on how we do things at The CN, it would be a much more entertaining show. Every reality show is better when the participants are of legal drinking age. The first episode would have Juicy Pants and me pretending to be all buddy-buddy.
Then, once some of that truth sermon started flowing, we would be yelling at each other over who could eat more paint chips (the third quest) or who is a better squirrel hunter (the final quest is to go hunting on campus and catch enough food to provide for the staff).
Still, even though it’s not us, I’m glad to see some wannabe journalists in the spotlight.

Kids on the school newspaper aren’t always regarded as “the coolest.” They are equated more closely to the kids on the chess team than those on the football team.

But, I’m happy to report that all the kids seem relatively normal. None of them have arms growing out of their heads or anything.
If JCU has a chess team, I’m sorry for offending you. You guys are the best.
As for me, well I’m redefining what it means to be the editor of the school newspaper.
It’s dangerous, slightly awkward, and, most of all, sexy.