Lo Castro's Lowdown: Long Distance Lovin

I for one am no Dr. Phil– or Sue Johanson for that matter. That’s why when friends bequeth to me their latest relationship blunders, I attempt to remain as neutral as the best watchmaking country in the world, Switzerland.
But there is one topic that frequently comes up in the realm of relationships that I do have an opinion about : long distance dating, or LDD. Now, when we’re talking about LDD, this doesn’t include the kid who thinks he has one of these magical relationships because he has to walk across Belvoir to visit his girlfriend in Hamlin.

In Lo Castro’s book of long distance lovin’, a relationship is only considered long distance if two people (or maybe three, depending on how freaky you like to get) are separated either by a stateline or a distance of at least 130 miles where you pass at least one grouping of cows on the highway.
Now that the physical context of LDD has been established, I think it’s necessary to define what constitutes a legitimately necessary or understandable LDD.

One that is absolutely preposterous and honestly baffles me are international long-distance daters. These are the guys and girls who are able to maintain their Facebook status of being, “in a relationship” even with mountains or oceans separating them.
While I understand the stereotypial proverb that “love conquers all” and no physical boundaries can keep someone from feeling how they feel, I do question the validity and depth of this kind of situation.
I have a friend who is currently “dating” his girlfriend of over a year. They met while he was studying abroad for a semester. He lives in Cleveland. She lives in Japan. Both of them have a limited vocabulary of the other’s language. So, not only is there a geographical barrier, but a language one as well.

When he told me that he was planning on marrying her, I was befuddled. I also pondered slapping him across the face for a moment. Here’s a guy who is looking to spend the rest of his life with a girl who he’s seen less times than he can count on one hand.
I’m banking on one day getting a call from him. He’ll be broke and homeless, calling me from a hostel in Japan. I’m assuming I’ll end up wiring him money for a rice bowl and some anime pornography.

Yeah, so maybe his case is far and few between. But what about other, more common, relationship situations?
There are various incidents of people meeting because their normal lifestyles were thrown some time of situational curve ball: weddings, conventions, family reunions, etc. And although many singles try to ignite the proverbial LDD fire with a stranger, many times it often fizzles because of a lack of depth or common interest (or maybe just plain laziness).

To me, the only type of long distance relationship that is worth trying to salvage is one that was a regular relationship before it switched status. I’m assuming that amongst the students at JCU this is probably one of the more popular dating methods. Lots of guys and girls are dating people that they started dating back home. Others are dating people that also go to Carroll but are from a different state.
All of which get the OK in this Lowdown.