You're Wrong, I'm Rafferty: The beautiful life of a columnist

To all perspective students, whatever you do, don’t come to John Carroll.

I’m just kidding of course.  You should come here because it’s a great place, and you can have the amazing opportunity to be a college newspaper columnist, just like me.  Each week, I can write just about whatever I want, though I might get a couple phone calls if I told kids not to come here.  Seriously, you kids sitting in Rodman right now reading this, come here.  We need your money. 

The CN columnist’s life is a beautiful life.  I have met a lot of people because of my writing.  I have also offended a lot of people because of my writing, but that’s kind of the point.  The everybody knows everybody atmosphere of JCU makes this job a lot of fun.  But, I guess it’s not really a job because I don’t get paid.

I’ve been surprised at the far-reaching effect this column has had.  Last semester, I wrote about how I was going to run for mayor of University Heights.  To my surprise, when I showed up for a City Council meeting the next week, a councilwoman informed me I would have a difficult time winning the election, since my base has the lowest voter turnout in UH.

I didn’t think this column would make its way to City Council, but it’s good Mayor Rothschild knows.  Next year I will be the one presenting a Supreme Court Justice the key to the city before he gives a terribly boring speech.
If I really thought about who reads this before I wrote it, I would probably do some things differently.  My concerned mother warned me to take it easy after reading the column when I invited all of JCU to my birthday.  The answer is no, I don’t kiss my mother with this column.
It’s always interesting to start a group project. I’m always at risk of being paired with someone who already doesn’t like me, though this helps me feel less guilty when I contribute absolutely nothing to the group.

There is a spectrum of reactions I get when introduced to new people.  The first is the ego-boosting celebrity reaction.  This is the, “Wait, are you THE Andrew Rafferty?”

Whenever other staff members overhear this interaction, they usually sigh and shake their heads.  Just what I need, more fuel.
The second reaction is the, “Andrew Rafferty...why does that name sound familiar?”  I never answer this question because they might be trying to remember how much they hate me. Instead, I say something random like, “We made out that one time,” then walk away.  This works really well with guys.

The third reaction is the normal one.  That is, a typical introduction between strangers.  But, what is different is that I will only give my first name, and then later in the conversation the person will, perhaps by osmosis, know my last name.
The fourth reaction, and the most common, is the person having no idea who I am.
As I said, it’s a beautiful life.