I’ve taken health classes so I kind of understand why people go to the gym. However, I have only been to the Corbo Room – it is called a room, isn’t it? – a handful of times. I like to consider my brisk walks to class exercise and I think sweating is gross, so I like to prevent it whenever possible. I’ve also decided that on the rare occasions that I think exercising is a good idea it should be done only early in the morning, so no one will see me.

Today I walked to the newsroom for what will be my last night as Editor in Chief.

Today was also the first time that it occurred to me that those people on the elliptical machines probably looked into the newsroom (or attempted to) on their way to the gym. They most likely saw us staring at the computers and thought: Why on earth do they do that to themselves every week?

They kind of have a valid question.  From an outsider’s perspective we’re always in here, we each write the equivalent of a two-page paper each week, and we still have to go to class.

From an insider’s perspective we can see where they’re coming from too. We’ve been pulling all-nighters, we’ve given up attempting to be healthy, we’ve put in countless hours conducting interviews, we subject ourselves to the criticism of the student body and faculty, and we do it all for free.

What they don’t see, or rather smell, is the disgusting stench from the day old food that lingers in the newsroom. They can’t understand the funny and sometimes offensive photoshopped images of each other that plaster our walls.  They don’t hear the insults we throw at one another, with mostly good intentions. They shouldn’t hear about the trips we take to journalism conferences, where we attend all of the informational sessions.

They can’t see the satisfaction we get from seeing our hard work in print. They don’t see the relationships we’ve formed. They don’t accompany us to interviews where we can proudly talk about our experience working on an award-wining campus newspaper.

So I guess we do it for the same reason those people are on the elliptical. We want to look and feel good, even if we’re the only ones who know it.

It is a nice tool that I’ve been using for literally as long as I can remember. Last night, a fellow editor used it to pull up the list of candidates for Time Magazine’s Person of the Year and I was a little surprised by some of the people being considered.

Some of this year’s finalists include: President Barack Obama (the 2008 winner), Lady Gaga, Sarah Palin, Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert, Glenn Beck, Afghan President Hamid Karzai, Turkish Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan, and the trapped Chilean miners.

Unfortunately Gore never made the cut for Person of the Year. It could be because he also didn’t really invent the Internet. 

Regardless, in 2006 the Internet was the main factor in determining the acclaimed “Person of The Year.” That was the year “You” received the title. “You” were starting to delve into the World Wide Web and used it to make connections and help change the world with everything from MySpace to YouTube. 

This year “You” won’t be the recipient again, and chances are “You” (in the sense of Clevelanders) might be a little upset with the decision.

That is because one of the other finalists this year is our very own, I mean formerly our very own, LeBron James.

Time Magazine editors are responsible for selecting the Person of the Year. It goes to the “person or persons who most affected the news and our lives, for good or ill, and embodied what was important about the year.”

You can’t argue that LeBron affected the news and our lives or that it was for good or ill. But did he embody what was important about the year?

In an article with The Associated Press, James said, “I am who I am and I think I’m in a position of my life where I’m going to get better every day. But it’s [nomination for Time Magazine’s Person of the Year is] too much.”

That is very humble of you, but here is the problem LeBron, if you win it shouldn’t be because you’re getting better everyday. It should be because you impacted the news in a large way. You turned a choice, that I’m pretty certain you had determined weeks prior, into “The Decision.” That coupled with being a talented athlete is why you made the cut. 

Let’s be honest, I don’t really care about sports and I’m not heart-broken that LeBron left the city. I just think he did it in an unprofessional manner. 

I also have a certain appreciation for controversy, so I wouldn’t mind if someone won because they negatively contributed to our society, but is LeBron that man? No, let’s not give him more credit than he deserves.

I am a babysitter. 

It is a great job. From my estimations, babysitters in University Heights make between $8 to $14 an hour. That is more than minimum wage and if you’re fortunate enough to babysit at night, the kids will be asleep by 9 p.m., so you’re getting paid to watch TV or do homework.

I am an excellent tent builder, hair stylist, and treasure hunt maker. I’ve also hosted dance parties and battled in Nerf gun wars. Those are skills that just aren’t appreciated on your resume, unless you write it in brightly colored marker and give it to the kids you’re babysitting. 

The problem is that I graduate in May, so my resume includes things like The Carroll News and internships. My ability to dominate at Simon Says won’t be appreciated and it will no longer be socially acceptable for me to babysit. Society seems to think there is something weird about a person working full-time and babysitting. 

Please notice that I said work full-time and babysit. It seems to be OK if you are attending graduate school or only working part-time. It is as if the families assume that you aren’t pursuing your real career yet, so it is OK for you to watch their kids and make some extra money.

After you graduate if you have to babysit you are probably working for free and watching kids somehow related to you. An alternative option is to redefine the responsibility under the title as nanny or better yet, au pair.  

There is however, a difference between babysitting and being a nanny. I think of a nanny as full-time position that involves cooking, cleaning and occasionally laundry. It isn’t usually something you can do just on Saturday night. Sadly dictionary.com defines “nanny” as “a person, usually with special training, employed to care for children in a household.” So education majors, you’re probably in the clear, but unless my time teaching a Sunday school class to preschoolers counts, I lack the special training.

An au pair is even more extreme. Remember the 1999 made-for-TV movie “Au Pair”? She had to live with the family full-time and they spent most of their time in another country. That is actually kind of appealing, but again, not the weekend gig I have going now.

So, I was wondering if we could start reconsidering this societal decision that rules out babysitting after graduation. If I’m still in the area I’d like to continue to babysit for my favorite families. It is fun to have a kickball tournament or to play TV tag and call out shows they’ve never heard of. 

Last week, the kids were perplexed by “Doug” and “Hey Arnold!” 

I will most likely never be a nanny or an au pair, but if possible, I hope to continue to be a babysitter.

New research suggests that if you had a lot of friends in high school and consider yourself liberal there could be something greater than your love of President Barack Obama that is contributing to your liberal political ideology.

That’s right. Research has found a “liberal gene.” Sadly, this is not a joke.

A recent study concluded that a gene called DRD4 in connection with your high school popularity could be the reason you consider yourself liberal. They are calling DRD4 the “liberal gene.”

According to Discovery News, “Scientists at the University of California San Diego and Harvard University determined that people who carry a variant of the DRD4 gene are more likely to be liberals as adults, depending on the number of friendships they had during high school.”

Scientists identify the gene as liberal because it is thought to make people more apt to being open. According to research, openness is linked with political liberalism.

They theorize that the friendships are important because the more people you are in contact with the more viewpoints you are exposed to.

However, it seems there are a few flaws in their reasoning.

My biggest problem with this is not that a segment of DNA is being called the “liberal gene.” It bothers me because of why it is being labeled that way.

I understand that the gene supposedly makes people more open, but why can’t you be open and conservative? Wouldn’t it be even more likely that you would be open and independent? Why is it only liberal that can be synonymous with openness.

Likewise, what if I have the gene and was popular in high school, but all of my friends are conservative? I would still be open to listening to them, but they probably wouldn’t convince me to be liberal.

The survey included more than 2,500 individuals. According to Discovery News participants were asked during high school to name five female and male friends. That helped determine their social network. When those people reached their 20s they had them classify themselves as  “very conservative,” “conservative,” “middle-of-the-road,” “liberal,” or “very liberal.”

The results led the scientists to believe there was some relationship between being liberal, friendship, and having the gene.

Therefore the scientists have discovered a correlation, not a causation. Popularity, the DRD4 gene, and being liberal may be connected, but one element does not cause another.

I’m not buying this. People associate with political parties because of two reasons: the influence of family and friends, or because of a conscious decision based on the issues. There may be a few other reasons, but I find it hard to believe that genetics is one of them.

Discovery News also wrote that this is the first study that associates a gene with politics.

According to Discovery News, “Neither the gene nor social networks alone influenced political identification.”

You can judge me, but I have been to a lot of journalism conferences during my time at JCU. More importantly I have met a lot of people from other schools who want to become journalists.

JCU is unique because we don’t offer a journalism degree. We are all lumped into the communication and theater arts major. We are not specific which is a blessing and a curse. It means that we can easily translate what we’ve learned into whatever career we want to pursue. It is a curse because even though we don’t have specific majors, you can define it by the classes and extracurriculars you choose. It may be the fault of the students -I’m definitely guilty- but if students become comfortable with one medium they probably don’t push themselves to try something else.

At other schools the TV stations are merging with the newspaper and must work together to report the news in both mediums. In other cases print and broadcast compete against each other.

As far as I know, The CN has never worked with the TV station, aside from a few of our editors who also have TV shows. On at least two occasions people working for a broadcast class have come to get our newspaper articles for their reports, but we never saw the end result.

I’m leaving JCU in May and potentially entering another career all together. The communications department, now known as the Tim Russert Department of Communications, has done a lot to prepare me for the real world, even if I don’t become a journalist. However, my time with The Carroll News is what has given me the practical, problem-solving knowledge that cannot be learned in a classroom.

There are a few people who do it all (radio, television and print), but there are also many communications students who don’t do anything, at least not within the department. From what I’ve seen, the TV station probably provides good experience, but the shows are mostly just for fun.

I think the school needs to seriously consider creating a news station. This is a prime opportunity to challenge The Carroll News. I’m sure I don’t need to remind you that we’re award-winning. If the challenge is too much, we could also work together.

The communication department could also consider adding a class where students would work together to produce a show during a semester. I would like to see it be news related, but ultimately it could be up to the class. If the students wanted to continue the show they could, or the next semester new students would take over.

There are a lot of resources available to us and I think we were doing well for a long time so we’ve fallen into a comfortable spot. Journalism, public relations, and other aspects of communications are changing. We need to continue to revise what we offer outside of the classroom and a little friendly competition could help. Let’s start using the TV station for slightly more credible reporting (sorry guys) and challenge The Carroll News.

The ads are so cruel that it could make you think that our country is full of corrupt politicians. I know what you’re thinking: How could politicians possibly be corrupt? 

Sarcasm aside, politicians disgust me with these cheap attempts to prove they’re the best candidate. It isn’t the politicians that are the subject of the commercials that have me concerned. I’m worried about the people “approving [those] messages.”

All smear campaigns are pathetic, but Democratic Rep. Alan Grayson of Florida took it to a new low. He turned his Republican opponent Daniel Webster, into “Taliban Dan.” 

The commercial, which opens with “I’m Congressman Alan Grayson and I approved this message,” goes on to accuse Webster of not loving his country, having no respect for women, and the desire to “impose his radical fundamentalism on us.”

It aired on Sept. 25, but I was introduced to the commercial during my media ethics class. This media was far from ethical. 

The clips for Grayson’s ad came from the Institute of Basic Life Principles, a religious conference sponsored by the Advanced Training Institute, where Webster gave advice to fathers about supporting their children and wives. 

The clips shown in the commercial were skewed to make it sound like Webster was saying “submit to me” and “wives submit yourself to your own husband.” According to factcheck.org, when put in context it is apparent that he was actually saying the opposite. At the talk he said that literal translations of the Bible should not be taken that way. 

Unfortunately for Grayson, no one supports the accusations he made, but it is definitely getting some attention. 

MSNBC called the commercial a “campaign attack ad” and invited Grayson on air to defend his unjust claims against Webster. Grayson didn’t back down. 

Contessa Brewer, the MSNBC news anchor, asked Grayson about his decision to run this commercial and his choice to compare Webster to the Taliban.

He said, “Well, the Taliban try to impose their bizarre religious views on the rest of us and so does my opponent and the group the he belongs to.”

Grayson, you’re giving politicans a worse name.

When I was applying at Dairy Queen for what would later become my first job, the interviewers asked me what was more important, speed or quality. If the job was with a newspaper instead of an ice cream shop they might have asked me: Which is more important, to be a good friend, or to be a good journalist?

I respect journalists a lot because while most people love what journalists report, they often despise the person doing the reporting. If a journalist isn’t reporting fluff, they will probably be disliked by someone for what they write, regardless of whether it is unbiased.

My roommate is not affiliated with The Carroll News. In fact, she holds an executive position on the Student Union Board. Student Union and The Carroll News are sometimes seen as enemies and I’m sure over the years we’ve ruffled a few feathers. People in our respective organizations questioned us on our decision to live together.

Last semester, as we were signing our lease, she interviewed a public relations specialist for a class project. The woman she talked to said, “A journalist is never your friend.” I don’t think she told the woman that she would be living with a newspaper editor next year, but I would have liked to have heard her response. At this point in the year I think my roommate would happily tell that woman that either I’m not a real journalist, or that she was misinformed.

Another person I know is concerned that if I see him at a bar I might write a story about him. Well, Greg, this is as close as it is going to get.

You see, as journalists, we have a responsibility to report the truth, but we’re human too. We always want to know what is going on, but we don’t want to hurt people. If I reported everything I heard the newspaper would be a different sort of interesting, but I don’t really think the campus would be better off.

We discuss all of our story ideas at a weekly staff meeting, and when necessary, we contact professors and professionals for advice. Journalists are thoughtful, meaning we carefully think about what we print.

So, to answer the question posed by my fabricated newspaper interviewers, I would tell them the same thing I told the people at Dairy Queen. There needs to be a balance. That answer, and hopefully some other qualifications, got me the job. And that answer is something I truly believe. There is a balance to being a friend and a journalist and while I will always be a journalist at heart, it is also possible to be my friend.

This is what the movie “Social Network” might lead you to believe about Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg. The film officially opens tomorrow, Oct. 1 and is based on Ben Mezrich’s book proposal for “The Accidental Billionaires.” The book is told mostly from a first person prospective of Zuckerberg’s former best friend and Harvard classmate, Eduardo Saverin. According to the Boston Globe, “Social Network” screenwriter Aaron Sorkin said, “[The movie] uses flashbacks, spun out during a pair of depositions — to make it clear that the story of Facebook is disputed, and the movie isn’t taking sides.”

The problem is that I left that movie with very strong feelings about what side I was on and I don’t think I came to those conclusions all on my own.

After an advanced screening last week, I left the movie detesting Mark Zuckerberg, Sean Parker, founder of Napster, and myself for employing them.

The movie portrays Zuckerberg as a rude, arrogant genius who pushed aside friendship and ethics for personal gain. The movie is centered in a courtroom, where lawyers are deciding who is rightfully responsible for Facebook.

Saverin, the first CFO and financial contributor to Facebook, claims that he’s been cheated out of millions of dollars by his former best friend.

Divya Narendra and Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, other Harvard students, are also suing the Facebook billionaire. While at Harvard, they approached Zuckerberg for assistance with their concept called Harvard Connection. The three men claimed Zuckerberg stole their idea. According to The New Yorker, “As [Zuckerberg] tells the story, the ideas behind the two social networks were totally different. Their [Narendra and Winklevosses’] site, he says, emphasized dating, while his emphasized networking.”

Regardless of the way the movie portrays Zuckerberg, those statements are true. He did face lawsuits from the four Harvard classmates. The questionable material is the addition of other scenes and the way Sorkin wrote Zuckerberg’s character.

Sorkin is best known for writing “West Wing.” It is ironically one of Zuckerberg’s favorite shows, according to The Face of Facebook, an article in the Sept. 20, 2010 issue of The New Yorker.

Zuckerberg may be reconsidering his love of Sorin’s work after the “Social Network” opens. Some believe he is already trying to save face by quickly becoming a philanthropist. On The Oprah Winfrey Show last Friday, Sept. 24, Zuckerberg announced a $100 million dollar donation to Newark, N.J. schools.

According to The Boston Globe, Sorin said, “This movie’s a true story.  It’s more than a true story. It’s several versions of a true story.’’

A Fortune500 article on CNNMoney.com by David Kaplan, seems to think quite the opposite. The article is titled “‘The Social Network mystery: Where are the lawsuits?” and claims “the moviemakers satisfied their own agenda: they went for accuracy (when it suited them) and were apparently able to defuse any potential Facebook thoughts of litigation, while at the same time being able to focus on ‘storytelling’ rather than ‘truth.’”

As for the more than 6,000 word article in The New Yorker, it is a more unbiased look at the billionaire, but it left me with the feeling that for the most part the movie is accurate. Zuckerberg is a genius, but he was so focused on the outcome that he forgot what it means to get there ethically.

But like more than 500 million others,  I still have a Facebook.

Aside from the text message alert, which I support (except when I get a monthly text notification at 2:14 a.m.), JCU is abusing their ability to contact us. Right now that includes Blackboard, BannerWeb, and OrgSync. 

E-mail, a class all on its own, consists of: All-Stus, messages sent in OrgSync, Speedbumps, the church bulletin, Center for Service and Social Action newsletter, the Student Union newsletter, and the Weekend Wowzer. I’m sure there are a few I’m forgetting, but thank goodness The Carroll News is still available in print.

I would hope you agree that it is getting a little out of hand. Therefore, I have chosen only to respond to two. I understand that there are many organizations on this campus and they all need to reach the students, but my electronic world is becoming overpopulated.

Since I’m feeling nice, and JCU probably won’t change their system anytime soon, let’s choose four. I’ll give them two educational resources and two social. 

I see the purpose of BannerWeb, although I find it difficult to use and think its features like “what-if analysis” are underutilized. I am a huge fan of Blackboard. Most of my teachers seem to need a refresher course on its capabilities, but when used properly, it can assist in everything from tracking my grades to class discussions. You can also check grades on BannerWeb, but it isn’t as clear and often only registers if you’re failing (perhaps too little, too late).

OrgSync is the most unnecessary program at JCU. I couldn’t find the price on the official website, but even if we’re paying $5 a year, why was it necessary to purchase this program? I remember when SUPB (yes, before my days of The CN I dabbled in other organizations) used Blackboard as a forum to reach its members.

If OrgSync is the way of the future, maybe I’m too old to care. I know they used it for Homecoming voting, so there must be some beneficial qualities, but I would find it hard to believe that JCU doesn’t also have a subscription to Survey Monkey.

So, decision made: BannerWeb and Blackboard. Both should be explored further to see exactly what they have to offer, but are good resources.

As for all of these ridiculous e-mails, we can already rule out messages sent through OrgSync because I’m doing away with the system. I’m a fan of quotes, but I think once a week would do, so let’s throw Speedbumps in with the church bulletin. The majority of people reading the church bulletin are also reading the CSSA newsletter, so let’s lump those together too. I don’t know anyone who reads the SU newsletter, no offense guys. Maybe you should just put something in the All-Stu. The only problem with that is no one reads the All-Stus either. 

In case you didn’t pick up on it, we’re keeping the church bulletin. We do go to a Jesuit institution after all. Surprisingly, my second choice is the All-Stus that no one reads. I picked this because I think if we weren’t inundated by other campus e-mail crap we’d be more likely to read them. I’m sure SU can include a link to their newsletter and the Weekend Wowzer. 

So that’s it. For educational purposes you can reach me on BannerWeb and Blackboard. Social needs can be publicized with the electronic church bulletin and the All-Stu. The rest might as well be sent to the spam folder.

Franklin Roosevelt, Condoleezza Rice, Lance Armstrong, Frank Sinatra and Elvis Presley are just a few of those people. I don’t think of them bossy or selfish, and they certainly don’t seem maladjusted. Lance and Elvis might be a little weird, but I doubt that has anything to do with being only children. Then again, I’m probably a little biased because I’m also an only child.

Inevitably, several times a year I’ll have to introduce myself and share an interesting fact. I must not be a very interesting person because I can never think of anything. I used to offer up the fact that I’m an only child, but decided that needed to stop because as soon as people discovered that I didn’t have any siblings they began to make assumptions. People who already knew me would say, “Really Katie, you don’t have any brothers or sisters? You don’t seem like an only child.”

I take that as a compliment. Only children are obviously spoiled. Their parents have only one kid to spend all their hard earned money on, but that doesn’t automatically make us all brats or make our parents incredibly wealthy. My parents expected me to make my own money so as soon as I turned 16, I got a job.

I’ll admit, I wasn’t always great at sharing, but when I was born my parents both worked full-time, so I started attending daycare when I was only five-weeks-old. This meant that every day I was surrounded by at least ten kids and had to share everything from snacks to building blocks.

But here is the really big news, it turns out I’m not the only single child who turned out all right. In fact, the whole notion of us being bossy and maladjusted began in 1896 with a study conducted by Granville Stanley Hall. He gave us a bad name and called our only child lifestyle a “disease.”

Toni Falbo, a professor of educational psychology and sociology at the University of Texas at Austin, is also an only child and read Hall’s studies. Then she decided to begin conducting a little research of her own. According to Time Magazine, she and colleague Denise Polit conducted a meta-analysis of 115 studies of only children. They looked at how the children learned to adjust, build character, become social, perform in school, and their overall intelligence. And the results, well they say that only children “aren’t measurably different from other kids — except that they, along with firstborns and people who have only one sibling, score higher in measures of intelligence and achievement.”

So it looks like the stereotypes are somewhat accurate. We might be kind of weird and different, but that isn’t a negative, and along with firstborns, we are apparently more intelligent. 

This is not to say that only children are better. I’m sure Jon and Kate Gosselin would want to contest that statement. I just want you to know that yes, we’re spoiled. However, if we’re weird or maladjusted it has little to do with being an only child and let’s be honest, everyone is a little selfish and bossy no matter how many siblings you have.

This year it seems particularly ironic that the celebration of your ability to work warrants a day away from the office. According to the United States Department of Labor the day is a “tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country.” That is probably a difficult concept for many Americans to appreciate when they haven’t been working for months.

If you asked students at John Carroll what is more important to them, our parking situation or the recession, I’m fairly confident that they would say parking. It isn’t a matter of which is politically more important, but if the recession is even affecting our lives. 

When seniors started college the unemployment rate was 4.6 percent, but three years later it has risen to almost double that at 9.8 percent, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. However, if every story in the news didn’t begin with “due to the recession” or “because of a changing economy,” I bet a lot of college students wouldn’t even know our economy is suffering. 

Maybe that is too bold of a statement, but what exactly does the recession mean for us?

Honestly, the recession hasn’t taken a direct toll on my life, and a lot of my friends who graduated last year have found jobs. We’ve all heard that when we graduate it might force us to strongly consider graduate school or make finding jobs more difficult. Likewise, I’m sure some of us have family members who are suffering because of lack of employment, but as long as we’re in the confines of JCU, it is not a matter of how, but if it will affect us at all.

According to The New York Times, the recession may have college students rethinking their political parties. When it is time to vote college students may act in two very different ways. They could decide they are adamantly against the way the economy is currently being run, and vote to have Republicans regain control of the House and Senate; or if they abandon their dedication to politics completely, they may abstain from voting.

Regardless of your dedication to education, or mommy and daddy’s pocketbook, eventually we will all need to find a job. So, even if we don’t feel the effects of the economy while we’re at JCU, we will soon enough.

Think of the economy like John Carroll. There used to be a lot more parking spaces, but they have been taken away and because of budget reasons it could be a while before they are replaced. If JCU represented America, and those parking spaces were jobs, it would sound kind of like our current economic situation and maybe students would be feeling the effect of the outcome.

After the Sweet Carrollines and Rhapsody Blue concert I walked to the Dolan parking lot looking for my car that a friend had parked. I decided to locate it faster by hitting the panic button on my keys. After several attempts there was still no sound. Finally, lights started to flash and the horn honked.

Already feeling obnoxious for using my panic button to find my car, I loudly announced to the parking lot, “Don’t worry, I found my car.” I turned to my friend and we began to walk toward my car. As we headed that way, so did three guys. We then watched as they got into the car and I smiled and said, “Well, guess I didn’t find my car, but you did. Congrats!” – Yes, it was somewhat embarrassing.

At the end of the night we had to go get the girl who parked my car and when we finally located it I didn’t announce it to the parking lot, but for anyone who was there, you can rest assured we found my car. I also successfully filled that night’s quota of awkwardness.

I’m not complaining, being awkward makes my life much more interesting than it would be otherwise. My lack of athletic ability, dancing skills, and height all add to the quality of my life. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Google has an endless source of ways to combat my awkward tendencies, but what fun would that be? Instead I have reached my own conclusion. 

The solution to living a less awkward life is to surround yourself with more awkward people. 

Hello friends, you are all part of my life for a reason: you’re awkward. (And if you’re not, hang out  with me long enough and you will  become awkward. It is my gift to you.)

In the past month my best friends on campus have caused many awkward moments of their very own. One of my friends closed her own arm in her trunk and had a nice bruise to prove it. When asked how she dealt with stress, another one of my friends told her interviewer that she ate feelings, preferring chocolate or junk food. (She got the job.)

My best friend from home tackled another small blonde girl at our high school homecoming football game because she thought it was me – It wasn’t. 

So, as I live my life I will continue to fall up steps, say things I don’t mean, panic that my shirt is on inside out, create new more awkward moments, and surround myself with even weirder people.

While I like to think the caliber of my columns is slightly above the absolutely absurd, this week there is something rather elementary that I would like to discuss: farts. Loud, silent, small, no matter the delivery they all stink.

When I was writing the first draft of this article I was on an airplane to New York and I’m fairly certain that the man next to me consumed at least three bean burritos before boarding and then released the contents into his pants during the flight. (He may or may not have been a fellow editor of mine.)

Yes, I am aware that everyone farts: royalty, presidents, Jesus, and yes, even I do on occasion. According to medicalnewstoday.com passing gas is a natural bodily function. The site also claims that the average person farts 14 times a day. However, if you ask the boys in this newsroom that is an understatement. Better yet, ask the girls in this newsroom. They’ll agree that the “average person” the site is referring to must not include the boys on staff.

Those boys are the inspiration for this column. The newsroom never smells pleasant, and a lot of things factor into that, but I think the boys contribute the most via bodily functions.

Basically I want to know if it is necessary for all this stinky business. What happens if you don’t release that potent gas? According to psychiatrists if you keep emotions bottled up you’ll explode, so can the same be said about farts? (That would be rather messy.)

At this point you’re probably either disgusted or intrigued, but either way we now know you do it 14 times a day, and you probably haven’t done this research on your own, so this could be rather enlightening.

According to Merriam-Webster (the dictionary), a fart is “an expulsion of intestinal gas or a foolish or contemptible person.” For our purposes, we’ll go with the first definition.

According to the other Webster (Sean, our world news editor), “one of the leading sources of carbon emissions in the United States, farts are what happen when the body reaches its maximum capacity of bodily gases. The stomach muscles expel the gas through the colon, which vibrates the muscles of the buttocks, usually resulting in a loud ripping sound and a bad smell – depending on what you ate.”

So is this “expulsion of intestinal gas” necessary? According to all the sites on the Internet, it isn’t bad to hold it in, but it is occasionally uncomfortable. Webmd.com claims that you can eliminate some gas by choosing foods that do not cause increased gas such as beans, pop, milk and bran. However, the site didn’t share any information about withholding the gas.

Even with this limited information we can conclude that farts are not the same as emotions. You can hold them in and you won’t explode. There are only two situations I can think of when holding it in isn’t a practical solution. Sometimes you can’t wait which often leads to the SBD (silent-but-deadly) fart, and I don’t know anyone who goes to the bathroom 14 times a day, so it might be a little inconvenient.

But we’re too old to blame it on the dog or kid sitting next to you. We’re also not 90, so there is no reason you shouldn’t be able to control your body. So, even though this school is full of “average people,” let’s try to keep our farting in public to a minimum or at least try to contain it until you’re in an open area. 

As I said in my opening, this column is out of the ordinary for me and something you might expect to see in a different corner of the newspaper (like the bottom of page 18). 

Regardless, I hope you now know that you can contain that intestinal gas, and even avoid some of it. The bottom line is that I hope this provided you with a laugh. It is a stressful time, and just like farts, finals stink.

Last weekend, it was also the site of “Inside The Times,” a workshop for college newspaper editors. Bob Seeholzer and I were two of those editors. With high hopes and the desire for another resume bullet, we boarded the plane for La Guardia Airport. 

The whirlwind trip began on Sunday afternoon. After one large pizza, several cans of Coke, and one very dull seminar, the trip was over.

The trip was a hit and miss, so that is how I will recap it for you. In the style of The CN’s editorial page, here is my Times trip Hit/miss starting from the beginning. 

Hit: We flew to New York instead of driving.

Hit: We ordered a large Villa pizza in the airport and saved by buying in bulk.

miss: It took so long to make it, that by the time it was done we had to take the entire large pizza on the plane with us.

miss: It barely fit down the aisle.

Hit: Our hotel was very close to Times Square.

miss: It was also next to a shady night club with a bouncer who had “TapOut” shaved into his head.

Hit/miss: According to urbandictionary.com “Tapout” is a brand of clothing for martial artists.

Hit/miss: Walking around Times Square after midnight listening to Bob recording on the “I am T-Pain” app. 

[We were] miss(ing): sleep the night before the conference.

Hit: There was a free continental breakfast.

miss: They were out of orange juice.

Hit: Lectures from Managing Director for Education, Susan Mills; Deputy Managing Editor, Bill Schmidt; Blogs and Continuous News reporter, Jenna Wortham; Director of The New York Times Student Journalism Institute, Don Hecker; Metropolitan reporter, Mireya Navarro; and Investigative Reporter, David Barstow.

miss: They were all lectures, not presentations. Only two included handouts, and not one had graphic aids.

miss: Most of the information included very basic editing tips for a room full of editors.

Hit: The lobby of The Times has really cool artwork called “movable type.” It selects words, phrases, and incomplete thoughts from The Times newsroom and projects them on small electronic screens. The variety and frequency reflects the productivity of the newsroom. It serves as a pretty cool form of artwork.

miss: We didn’t get to see anything at The Times except the lobby and a conference room.

Hit: I stumbled upon their cafeteria while I was looking for an approved place to use my cell phone. It was also pretty cool.

Hit: The Times building is environmentally friendly.

miss: We heard way too much about it because one of the other scheduled speakers didn’t show.

Hit: Lunch was pretty good and included three types of cookies.

Hit: Barstow told us about when a minister took out an $80,000 hit on his life because of an article Barstow wrote about the man’s church related fraud.

miss: Several editors told us we’re crazy for getting into this field and that we’d never make much money.

Hit: They said we should stick with it anyway.

Hit: They gave us a free water bottle, hat, pen, notebook, Frisbee and drawstring bag.

I am very grateful that I was able to attend, but the conference was slightly underwhelming. 

I was expecting intriguing editors with bold presentations and a tour of the building. It is The New York Times after all, not the Sun Press. Even at The Carroll News we’ll give you a tour if you ask nicely.

A middle school phase is when boys and girls try to figure themselves out. It usually occurs in sixth, seventh and eighth grade.

In grade school, we were acceptably still children; but as we got older, we had to figure out how to be adults.

Beanie Babies and American Girl Dolls had to be pushed aside as we attempted to quickly mature. Now, we could waste our nights playing Sims, calling our friends to see if they would be on AOL Instant Messenger (AIM), and updating our MySpace pages with the latest songs and coolest backgrounds.

My middle school phase happend in Grove City Middle School. It was home to the most awkward years of my life, and I didn’t have a clue. I thought I was cool.

Butterfly clips crowned my head, and on the days I wasn’t wearing those I might sport the single butterfly clip with the movable wings, or the comb headband that dug into my scalp and probably looked as bad as it was painful.

For special occasions I’d break out Bath & Body Works Art Stuff Glitter products and cover my arms, neck and sometimes add a little to my hair. The more glitter you used the better you would look.

When it was time for school dances, my lips were usually a metallic shade compliments of Lip Smackers, and I’d choose colored bands for my braces that matched my outfit.

While I don’t remember wearing them to dances, I would occasionally get out the always stylish black stretchy choker necklace and slap bracelet.

And, for dances my nails were almost always a pastel shade of nail polish that I would peel off the next day. I’d finish off my dance look with some bright (usually blue) eye shadow.

So to recap, Beanie Babies, American Girl Dolls and being a kid are out. Sims, MySpace, AIM, butterfly clips, glitter, metallic chapstick, slap braceletes, choker necklaces and maturing into adults are in.

By looking at my young face, some might think I’m still in the middle school phase, but believe me, I’ve come along way.

Now I’m in my college phase. Right now I can’t see what will mark this era, but I know I’m not ready for the real world phase yet, and thankfully I have another year.

As I’m watching so many of my friends prepare for the real world stage, part of me wants to buy them Art Stuff glitter and Lip Smackers chapstick in hope that it might push them back into the middle school phase and delay their graduation. If it meant they could stick around for a little while longer, I’d help them apply their bright blue eye shadow and lend them my, I mean buy them, butterfly clips.

But since even the middle schoolers have to mature, I guess I’ll have to save my glitter for another day and just be glad I still have another year.

A 17-year-old in Kennewick, Wa. is one of those stupid people. Because he is underage, his name hasn’t been released, but to make this story easier to understand we’ll call him Smith. Smith is probably a lot like any other 17-year-old. He might enjoy video games, skateboarding, oh, and watching a little porn at the local office furniture store.

That’s right, our dear friend Smith made a series of stupid choices, one of which was watching porn in a store. But since he is our “dear friend” we can easily, and sarcastically, justify his actions.

First, Smith broke into Bella Office Furniture. It was a risky move, but how else could he ensure that the furniture was up to his standards?

Next he got on the office computer, logged onto the Internet, and checked out his MySpace. He most likely needed to update his status to, “hanging in Bella Office Furniture, hit me up if you want something.” In fact, according to an AP report, he also used the office computer to start selling the merchandise he had stolen. He must be a smart kid, I mean, why not kill two birds with one stone? This way he wouldn’t need to take more than necessary, and if the clients had specific requests he could satisfy those needs more efficiently.

And when Smith had finished business, it was time to watch a little porn. By that time, he had a hard day at the office (furniture store) and he needed to relax. As Oprah has said, “You can’t take care of others, until you take care of yourself.”

 It turns out that from the police officers’ perspectives, his actions weren’t quite as justifiable as I tried to make them. And, his “smart” move of logging on to Myspace, well, that may have been a dead giveaway.

Smith certainly has a lot to learn, and as my fellow editor, Bob Seeholzer pointed out last week, the Internet can be a dangerous place.

I think Facebook and MySpace are possibly two of the most dangerous places. Not only will they help the police figure out if you broke into a store and used a computer, but they could also provide your address, telephone number and birth date.

When I logged on to my Twitter this week, something I rarely do, it said that I could include my location with my tweets. Now, is it really necessary for everyone to know where I am?

A Web site called pleaserobme.com is trying to say just that. According to their Web site, the creators don’t want anyone to get robbed, but they are pointing out  Facebook and MySpace users’ stupidity. 

When you share with people where you live, information about the new flat-screen TV you just bought, and that you’re going to the movies for the night—guess what; you just asked to be burglarized.

A man named Michael Fraser knows a little something about the way a burglar thinks. Fraser works for BBC as a “reformed burglar.” It is an interesting title, but he has turned over a new leaf and is making a career out of it. 

This “expert” calls social media sites “Internet shopping for burglars.” According to an article on Reuters.com, “[Aside from] information about [people taking] trips, people [are] posting party photos, showing the interiors of homes, and also chatting about their cool new purchases and presents.”

Fraser said, “It is incredibly easy to use social networking sites to target people, and then scope out more information on their actual home all from the comfort of the sofa.”

So, while Smith made a lot of stupid choices, just having a     MySpace account may have been the biggest mistake in his eyes. Before you leave for the weekend, or steal from a store, think of Smith and don’t share too much personal info or update your social network site profile.

Most likely, I sound pretty boring. If you tried to fit me into a stereotype I’d probably be a typical girl, a little geeky, and definitely a Carroll News member—whatever stereotype that equates to.

But, what if instead I described myself like this … 

Tanning is a priority for me. I like to look so brown that others may think I’m tinted orange. Large pearl earrings are a common accessory for me. Name brands are very important. In the winter I’ll be in Ugg boots and a North Face coat. When I feel like being comfortable you will probably find me wearing Victoria’s Secret PINK sweatpants. 

I am passionate about taking a stand. Whenever possible I like to sacrifice things others take for granted. I think my facial piercing makes me different. I always try to buy organic and Fair Trade clothing because I like what it symbolizes and the impact it makes on society. I like challenging your views and probably don’t agree with your ideals. 

This campus is my life. I am a mentor for the students. On a Saturday night I can be found in a room working and doing homework. I like to eat with the same people for breakfast, lunch and dinner and when I have free time I usually spend it with them. I don’t like to get people in trouble, but when someone is breaking the rules, it is my job to point it out.

I like T-shirts with funny sayings like, “Go ahead, make my data!” I love computers, except when they aren’t working properly, but it’s OK, I usually know how to fix them. My friends are interested in the same things and you’re welcome to hang out with us, but you might have trouble understanding our technical terms.

I definitely enjoy the party scene. Rehab is like a vacation. I like to change my hairstyle. I used to think red hair was cute, but dark brown is sexy. I’ve dated a few guys, but now I’m giving girls a chance. I am well endowed both physically and monetarily. Oh, and if you defame my name I will sue you, even if you do it with a cute talking baby.

Lindsay Lohan might say in that last one I was trying to describe her, and I should probably be a little nervous. Last week Lohan filed a $100 million lawsuit against E-Trade for their 2010 Super Bowl commercial. In the E-Trade commercial the recognizable “talking babies” discussed their dating lives. The female baby accused the male of hanging out with a boyfriend stealing girl named Lindsay.  Baby Lindsay was also referred to as a “milkaholic.” According to Lohan, this was E-Trade’s way of making a direct nod to her partying lifestyle. 

So what? I’m willing to bet a few people are offended by this column, but here’s the thing: I didn’t call out anyone. In fact, if you reread it, I say I’m giving alternate descriptions of myself. I didn’t even associate my descriptions as the stereotypes of certain groups. If you think it was a direct insult to someone, you created that theory on your own. But maybe stereotypes hold greater power than we think. Maybe they help us identify people, and maybe Lohan is justified in her lawsuit. But in the end, if stereotypes are just assumptions then it looks like we’re just all guilty of making an ass out of you and me.

 We affectionately refer to Webster as our “world snooze” editor and joke that no one reads his section, so it doesn’t really matter. It may seem harsh, but that is nothing in comparison to our humor related to other sections and we’re joking … sort of. 

I assume that most people that religously read the world news section are writers for the section, Webster’s friends, or people who already like and follow world news. The people that already follow world news are probably bored by the section because they already know about the news we’re reporting. You see, Webster has a difficult dilemma, because the stories we send to the printer on Tuesday night will probably be slightly outdated by our release date on Thursday.

I will admit that I don’t know nearly as much about the world as I should. I set the homepage of my computer to nytimes.com, but I still don’t take the time to read as much as I should before switching to Gmail or Facebook. I would wonder how many people are in the same position as I am, rely on Webster’s section to catch up on their world news, or pass it by all together.

According to Pew Research Center for the People and the Press, 13 percent of people age 18-25 rely on “The Daily Show” as a key source for information about the world. I guess that 13 percent isn’t that bad, but what happened to the other 87 percent? Pew also released statistics that 34 percent of that same age group isn’t getting any news on a daily basis. 

Last Friday, in my American electronic media class, we were asked to write down the latest piece of news that we had heard. Then our professor asked us to write down a second news story. There were several kids in the class that couldn’t write down anything. I would say at least 60 percent of the class that did have a news story, wrote down Tiger Woods as their first piece of news. Most students couldn’t come up with a second story, but those who did wrote down the man who committed suicide by flying into the Internal Revenue Service building. Our professor didn’t seem to be surprised with our answers, but I was.

I’m pretty sure if we had to do the assignment in regards to only world news most of the class would have been left with blank sheets of paper. So that brings me back to my original thought. Are we justified in calling Webster the world snooze editor? Who is reading his section and does it really matter? I think it does, but I think we also all need to be more aware of what is going on. 

Webster and his writers do a pretty good job of picking stories that are still relevant on Thursday, but we should all be able to call it old news when we see it. There is no reason we need to be in that 34 percent of people our age that aren’t getting any news on a daily basis. Webster can help us on Thursdays, but we need to do something about the other six days of the week.

Before I start though, did you know Lent is actually 46 days? It is only 40 days if you don’t include Sundays. That is why some people believe that Sundays don’t count for your sacrifice.

 According to Catholic.com, which seems to be a pretty legit source, “the penances are lifted on Sunday, because every Sunday is an Easter celebration.” That little fact would have made my life easier a few years ago.

So back to my dilemma of what to give up.

 One year I gave up all junk food. Anyone who has had a meal with me knows that was quite the sacrifice. (I lost five pounds and didn’t change anything else about my lifestyle. That tells you how much junk food I really eat.) Anyway, I’ve been there, done that and, for the past month, I’ve had a bet with my friend that I couldn’t last without cookies. I have, but I’m ready for that bet to be over. Plus, Girl Scout cookies will be released soon so, giving up food is out. 

 I’ve also considered committing to exercise twice a week. Again, you’d think that is a given, but my life adds up to weird hours and no dedication to the gym. I really like to keep my Lenten promise, so that’s out, too. I will attempt to continue going to power yoga though.

 One year I decided to give someone an honest compliment every day. I did it successfully, but I got tired of it and everyone just returned the compliment which made theirs and mine seem fake. If I tell you I like your haircut, you don’t have to look me over and decide to settle on “liking” my coat. I’m not a Facebook status, no need to fake like me.

I’d love to give up listening to T-Pain. I can admit that “I’m on a Boat” was a good song the first ten times I heard it. The next 390, were less enjoyable. But that could never happen. The other editors would prevent me from keeping that promise even an hour into Lent. 

Out of my own Lenten ideas, Google searches resulted in a few suggestions: French fries, swearing, smoking, drinking pop and reading the newspaper.

 French fries are OK, but not a staple. Smoking would be a challenge, but only for people who smoke. Swearing is something I definitely do more now than when I was in high school, but still not that frequently. As for reading the newspaper, I don’t think that would be my best decision since I’m so involved with this thing we call The Carroll News.

Drinking pop is a realistical possibility. I have more pop in a day than any other drink. There are no redeeming values to drinking pop, except that it keeps you awake when you forget to do your homework or are working on the newspaper. But, I think I could learn to do without. I will not consume pop for the next 40 days. If I start to shake or look miserable, you can assume Lenten pop withdrawl has set in. I’ll grow accustomed, but until then I better learn to like coffee.

This presents quite the predicament in Mass each week. For those of you who don’t know, in the Catholic Church we exchange what we call “the sign of peace.” You turn to the person next you, shake hands, and say “peace be with you.” When I was younger I always enjoyed this part because it meant Communion was coming and Mass was almost over. Now I appreciate Mass a bit more, but sharing peace is not my favorite part. 

When seated between two good friends I feel confident knowing when it comes time to exchange peace I can go in for the hug. However, when I’m not seated next to a good friend I spend the whole mass trying to decide if I should go for the hug or the handshake. My new determining factor is that if we’ve had an in-depth conversation I’ll go for the hug, if we haven’t you’re getting the handshake. The problem is that I don’t control the thoughts of the person next to me, and I apparently look like a very huggable person. 

Perhaps it is my small stature that makes me look so hug-worthy. Regardless, when I put out my hand and they stretch out their arms, I look at them dumbfounded. I quickly try to readjust myself and pretend I was going for the hug all along, but it usually results in an awkward exchange. 

A few weeks ago at Mass I turned around and shook someone’s hand and then turned to shake the person’s hand next to her. He decided we were closer than I thought, or that, like everyone else seems to think, I looked like I needed a hug, and decided to give me a hug. 

However, that hug ended up being more of a tap. Because of our distance and the awkward moment that was unfolding, my hand ended up about armpit level and his hand barely touched my shoulder. We exchanged a light pat, then laughed and turned away. It was embarrassing, but pretty funny.

I’ve decided that no matter the situation, the best way to handle an awkward moment is to laugh it off. Plus, I’ve had so many awkward moments in my life that if I didn’t laugh them off I would probably stop showing my face around campus.

But here is my question: Is there an unwritten rule about Mass etiquette that I don’t know?

There must be a simple solution to my hug/handshake dilemma. With a few of my friends we discuss if we’ll hug before Mass. It makes the whole process a lot easier, but now I kind of anticipate the confusion. 

The awkward element has become a staple in my Catholic Mass experience and my life in general. So, next time you see me, please make it clear (i.e. outstretched arms) that you want a hug or stick out your hand. Or better yet, pull me aside so we can have an in-depth conversation, then you’ll know you’re getting a hug.

But this column, much like NBC, is not dedicated to O’Brien, because there was a bigger television event last Friday night.

“Hope for Haiti Now,” a two-hour telethon, was designed to bring together the largest stars to motivate donations. More than 16 million viewers tuned in to watch as George Clooney hosted an evening of big talent and even bigger donations.

According to the Los Angeles Times, the program aired on at least 11 networks. For the brief two hours, there were no politics, no stations bidding for the highest rating, and no one complaining about his or her $37 million signing bonus.

Some may argue that the reason there were so many viewers was because nothing else was on television to compete, but that doesn’t explain the inordinate amount of money raised that night.

“Hope for Haiti Now” raked in over $57 million and counting. I think it is incredible.

In 18 countries, the “Hope for Haiti Now” album is number one on the iTunes charts and the money collected from the sales is being added to the total from the telethon.

After a natural disaster, I expect Oprah to have a special and the President to make a speech, but I really like it when everyone gets involved. 

It is amazing to me that, in this time of economic crisis, we’re finding ways to donate millions to a country with whom we have little in common. It wouldn’t surprise me if John Carroll students were among those donating on Friday. 

If they weren’t watching the telethon, Jake’s Speakeasy was also collecting donations for Haiti relief efforts that night. Dan Krajcik organized a benefit dance to raise money for the cause. 

Apparently around $1500 was collected at the dance that night. I have been incredibly impressed by the generosity exhibited during the past two weeks. One of my friends told me he gave his most recent paycheck in its entirety to a Haiti relief effort.

Another friend told me about Jen Ziemke, an assistant political science professor at JCU, who is donating her time to help with crisis mapping. The Web site could be used to help volunteers locate Haitians and bring them the supplies they need. 

JCU alumnus, Michael Henry, is giving even more than donations. He is the International Projects Manager for Cross International and his current job description involves working directly with the Haitian people. 

When in today’s society it seems as though everything is a competition and there is always something remedial to complain about, it is comforting to know that at least, when we need to, we can come together.

I know our professor, Brent, will read this, and while I don’t have any cards to support this claim, I’m willing to bet most of our class is ready for debate to end. For those of you who haven’t had the honor of taking debate, cards are pieces of evidence used to support your claim. (And, my claim isn’t very well-written, but that is beside the point.)

Brent tells us that every JCU student with a communication and theater arts major has made it through debate, but there have been a few times I’ve wondered if I’ll be one of them. 

It is comforting to know that we all suffer together. Our class has formed a bond, forever united by daily quizzes, mild confusion of how to flow (a method for following along in debate), and an odd ability to recognize, and occasionally identify, fallacies.

Besides the 20 other people in the class, each person has a debate partner, and for certain assignments you get to share the load in groups of three. My debate partner and I signed up for the class together, knowing that a bad partner could make for a hellish semester. It feels like we’ve spent more time together looking for cards and working on our assignments than I have spent with my family in the past year. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not a bad thing. We have a special bond now. We’ve reached points of insanity, completely sober, and still done well on the assignments.

Brent promises us these skills are invaluable and he’s told us that most of the graduates before us agree. Apparently the school considered dropping the requirement, but upon assessment of the graduating seniors, they said it was the most important class they’ve taken at JCU. As one guy in our class pointed out, it could be that they just want us to suffer too.

Either way I think we’ve all learned a few things. We’re all going to make it through the class. We actually start debating soon. Yes, it is a little nerve racking, and while I’m not sure we’re quite ready, I think on the day of the debates the skills we’ve been learning all semester will kick in and we’ll do fine. Did I mention at our tourney we’ll be debating kids that are flying in from Texas just for the event?

For the record, this article isn’t about how I hate debate. I don’t. I actually think the class is somewhat enjoyable. But, I’m tired. I don’t want to learn about different ways to disarm America of their nuclear weapons, or how a no first use policy will solve the problem. (Our topic this semester is nuclear weapons.)  I’m ready to be done. An exciting series of events are coming up, and the end of debate remains the highlight.

This year I’m living off campus for the first time. While it is very nice to escape John Carroll University and come home to my own room each night, it also makes me more aware of the responsibilities the real world entails. 

If you leave the light on all night you will pay for it. And cable isn’t a necessity, it is a luxury.

My roommate and I currently live without cable and we’re doing alright. Though on occasion I still find myself sitting down in front of the T.V. only to remember there won’t be anything on.

This summer I was pulled over on my way to work. As I frantically tried to figure out what I had done wrong a police officer walked over to my SUV. I rolled down my window and she asked me if I knew why she had pulled me over. I honestly didn’t so I said, “no” and instinctively followed it with “sorry.”

She then told me that my license plates were expired… nine months expired. While I’m embarrassed to admit that I had been driving with expired plates for nine months, how many people really check their license plates unless they get a notice in the mail? 

Regardless, I must have missed the memo, because I was in violation of the law. She thankfully let me off with a warning and being the responsible adult that I am, I immediately called my parents. Since I wasn’t in Pa. my dad took care of getting me new stickers, but told me that this would become my responsibility.

There is that word again, responsibility. Everything that once fell to the duty of my parents is now in my hands. 

I have to make sure the bills are paid on time, take care of my car, make my own dinner, wake myself up for class, and everything else that goes along with living on your own. 

While it isn’t always easy and I can’t say I love all of the new responsibilities, especially making my own dinner each night, it is kind of exciting to enter into adulthood. And, in a little over a month I’ll reach an entirely new level of adulthood. —I’ll be 21 and I look forward to my one night of no responsibilities.

Last week, in preparation for our Carroll News information sessions, we decided to create staff videos. What started as a simple explanation of the sections was redefined as a humorous and realistic view of our staff. Craig, our Arts & Entertainment/Life editor, took rein of the camera, and the bold personalities of our editors took care of the rest. (I’m still working on editing those videos so they’ll be acceptable to share with others.)

When our editors aren’t busy working on pages, or taking a procrastination break, they can be found doing one of three things. Dancing with our giant cactus, quoting movies with voices that can only be described as obnoxious or Photoshopping images of another staff member.

The last of those three is my personal favorite. Our walls are dominated by one-of-a-kind creations featuring our staff. Max, our campus editor, is the star of several, including one that diagrams the five topics he is most likely to be talking about. There are also several of me, most involving massive amounts of candy. The others aren’t really appropriate to share with the general public, but you’re welcome to stop in and see. Better yet, join our staff and we’ll make one just for you.

At the end of the night, or more realistically Wednesday morning, we’re all sick of each other and seriously sleep deprived. But on Thursday evening, for reasons we can’t explain, we come back together to do it again.

In sports my 5-foot-2-inch, 100-something frame hardly stands a chance against “normal” sized people and my lack of athletic ability eliminates any slight chance I may have had.  As for playing cards with my family, let’s just say I’m convinced my mom always wears long sleeves for a reason and I don’t like it. 

So anyway, I turn my aggression into board games and the stupid, but oddly exciting games you play on retreats.  Those games are my Super Bowl.  Forget the World Cup, I want to be the last one “alive” in Mafia, the first one to figure out who did it in Clue, and to run out of cards first in Presidents.  

Don’t even get me started if there are prizes involved. There are few things I hate more than when someone wins repeatedly. I can be happy for you if you win that series of One Tree Hill, but if that same night you also take home the ultimate gift basket I won’t be happy.  

This weekend I participated in Magis at Midnight. I played hard and I probably exerted more physical activity than I have all summer, but ultimately I lost. It didn’t matter how many tickets I got, my name wasn’t called.  But here’s the ironic part, I still had an amazing time.  

I’m a little salty that I didn’t take home the $500 bookstore gift card or the four tickets to Wicked, but I can be content with my $10 Tommy’s gift card. (I’ve never been there, and I’ve heard mixed reviews, but I’m hoping it’ll be  good.) 

In the end I figure that the winners may take home the digital camera today, but years from now I’ll win the lottery and the all expense paid trip to Tahiti. Life is a big game, and I’m playing to win. 

Additional thoughts:

So you’ve just read my very first column, and all you know about me is that I hate to lose. Well you should also know that I’m sarcastic, sweet and I love desserts–they count as a meal in my book. 

Also, I had a very difficult time naming this column. Besides asking the other editors and texting recent Carroll News alums, I also set my Facebook status, asking for ideas.  

Suggestions included “Sheridan’s smackdown,” “Sheridan shares,” “K.S. not B.S.,” “You’re wrong, I’m Sheridan,” “I’m wrong because I’m not Rafferty,” “Short, shorter, Sheridan,” “Sheridan the good Samaritan” and several others.  But eventually I came up with “Sher it like it is.”  

Most people who know me well are aware that I’ll share (or “sher”) something the way I see it. I hope you enjoy it.