Higl’s Squiggles

Higl's Squiggles: Boys have cooties

I’ve always been a strong supporter of the “boys have cooties” movement. Perhaps this was because I was burned at a young age. In fact, you could argue I’ve never been the same since. I remember it as if it were yesterday – back in my preschool glory days at the tender age of four.…

Higl's Squiggles: Introverts are people, too

Let me draw your attention to the girl in the corner: standing alone, far removed from the crowd. She wears an icy expression affectionately known as her “resting female dog face.” She scowls when people come near her, like one of those pit bulls people lock up behind fences and place a “beware of dog”…

Higl's Squiggles: Stop making sex sell

Picture this: three scantily clad women parading around a man fully dressed in a suit, caressing Beats Pill Speakers to the tune of Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines.” Let’s switch gears to this picture: a man dominating a minimally dressed woman in bed, with a magazine displaying a picture of a car covering her face. That’s…

Higl's Squiggles: That darn mouse in my locker

Not once in my life have I been a “roll with the punches” type of girl. You can even go as far as saying I fall into the opposite category. True, I don’t go all Britney Spears and shave my head when life doesn’t pan out, but you could say I’m a bit of an…

Higl's Squiggles: Women, men and hasty generalizations

Attention. The following is a public service announcement to all you ladies out there. Step one: Find a boy, grab him firmly by the shoulders and demand he proposes to you. Step two: graduate from college, degree in hand. Step three: find a mediocre part-time job, while being the good little conservative fiancée you are…

Higl's Squiggles: She’s a man-eater. Just kidding…

  In case you’ve been wracking your brain since day one of jumping aboard the Higl’s Squiggles bandwagon, I’d like to finally disclose one of my deepest and darkest secrets. So, let’s put your mind at ease. I’m a feminist. Watch out. From now on, I’ll be making appearances in my power suit around campus…

Higl's Squiggles: Break out the hot pink pants

‘Tis the season for Ugg boots, leggings and North Face jackets at John Carroll University. You’re walking across the campus to your 8 a.m., latte in hand, when you notice the girls in front of you, behind you and next to you are wearing the exact same outfit. You say with your classic Valley Girl…

Higl's Squiggles: For the love of learning

It’s 2 a.m. on a weekday and the party is just getting started  – the study party, that is. You’re sporting some ratty old sweatpants, fist pumping to the Pandora dance party station, pounding coffee after coffee and foolishly wishing that Chipotle delivered. Your second wind has officially kicked in. That biology midterm you’ve been…

Higl's Squiggles: Talk to me

This is my formal resignation. No, not from The Carroll News (you can stop weeping tears of sorrow or contemplating doing anything drastic – you can’t get rid of me, yet). This is my formal resignation from the world of skewed communication. This is the land where text messages, Facebook messages and posts and other…

Higl's Squiggles: Did the pilgrims and Native Americans shop at Walmart?

Ah, it’s that time of year again. No, I’m not talking about “no-shave November.” I began to partake in the festivities but I realized it wasn’t exactly ladylike for a 20-year-old girl to walk around looking like that caveman from those Geico commercials.  No wonder all those guys on campus were running in the opposite…

Higl's Squiggles: Finding Neverland

Let’s take a show of hands: how many of you have ever become enraged, frustrated and frazzled about the hustle and bustle of life? No, I’m not talking about taking 15 credits of classes and doing nothing else with your life besides stressing out about every time you only get seven out of your recommended…

Higl's Squiggles: More than the color of my hair

“Gentlemen prefer brunettes.” “Hold on, I’m having a dumb brunette moment.” “Brunettes have more fun.” “Legally Brunette.” If you think there’s something fishy about these classic phrases listed above, congratulations – you’re this week’s Carroll News’ Higl’s Squiqqles’ winner (Feel free to stop by the newsroom to pick up your prize of one-week-old Guy’s Pizza).…

Higl's Squiggles: A word from an ex-spelling champ

Not to boast, but I used to be a spelling champion. Go ahead. Judge me. I dare you. I’ll admit: I was once a young, frizzy-haired nerd with poor eyesight and a tendency to be labeled as the “walking encyclopedia” – but a nerd who used the “i before e except after c” rule as…

Higl's Squiggles: Keep it classy, kids

As Matron “Mama” Morton says in the musical “Chicago,” “whatever happened to class?” As I sit here, clicking away at my typewriter, sporting a tight bun secured to the back of my head and a conservative dress that covers my ankles, listening to the quiet hum of church hymns playing in the background, I shake…

Higl's Squiggles: Wanted: healthy models

Let me begin by getting something out in the open: I love fashion. When I say this, I would like to think that I am not one of those stereotypical girls who struts the street twirling her hair, chomping on her gum, wearing skin-tight yoga pants with the word “pink” embossed across her derrière saying,…

Higl's Squiggles: This city is my city

There are a few things in life that make me lose my cool. These include, but are not limited to, the lack of applesauce in the dining hall and drivers who rev their engines at poor pedestrians who want to safely cross the street so they can walk back to their residence halls unscathed (I…

Higl's Squiggles: A tribute to the successful failures

Let’s embark on a road trip of sorts, shall we? Except we won’t be traveling on a road – we’ll be zooming back through light years as I will try to illustrate my brilliant insights on life. Just some quality time with your favorite columnist. Don’t worry, it’ll be fun. But make sure you bring…

Higl's Squiggles: The first installment

Greetings. I’m sensing you may be slightly confused. You probably have no idea who I am or why you can’t stop staring deeply into my eyes in the picture printed above the text you are now reading. Before you hurl your copy of this award-winning publication across your dorm room, office or our beloved school’s…