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Kathryn Pifer, Class of 2014

October 11th, 2012

I am writing out of utter disgust, nights crying myself to sleep and loss of the ability to dream. Every week, I open those stunning pages of the award-winning Carroll News to find hard hitting news stories, worthy of abundant applause whenever these writing genius’ brace our only normal human population compared with your godliness. But, then I see it: the flaw. As an avid dabbler in sports, I believe the “Streak of the Week” does not give full credit to all the talents visible on this campus. What about speed stacking? Racquetballin’? And what about my skills as an extreme three-ball juggler. Yes, you read that right. I can walk forwards, backwards and sideways, while juggling three different balls. Not even balls! I can juggle fruit, rocks, tissue boxes, pens, cafeteria cupsc… Give me anything, it can be juggled. Ever see someone juggle under their legs? Well, I can’t do that. But, I sure can sit, stand and watch TV while I juggle. Week after week, I see the same faces. Do you forget to update your issues? How can someone win every week?! If you do not add other talented JCU athletes who do not suffer through varsity sports, then you should just call it the “Streak that is Weak.” It is time for justice to be served. I nominate myself, Kathryn Lemmin Pifer, as juggling “Streak of the Week.” For proof of my juggling capabilities, please contact my Twitter page with the hashtag #SoYouThinkYouCanJuggle.

Sincerely,

A very disappointed, but talented, avid Carroll News reader.

 

hrough it, I discovered how brave I really was.