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Brotherhood – Bayer Eta Pi style

September 27th, 2012

Back by popular demand, this week I’d like to offer more thoughts on Greek life at JCU. You might be thinking, “Brian, haven’t you exhausted this subject already?” Well, last year I was completely blind to the ways of the Greeks. I didn’t know the difference between a Beta fraternity brother and a Betta fighting fish; I thought a Kappa was what you put on your bottle of soda. Needless to say, I have come a long way since then, but I’m still learning.

For example – I now know that just because the economy of Greece is in the toilet, Greek life in America is still going strong. I also now understand that I shouldn’t expect anybody wearing Greek letters to also be adorned in a toga, offering me baklava. I have learned so much.

But, as an outsider, I still haven’t discovered all the wonders that brother- and sisterhood have to offer.

It’s all about perspective. So this week, I have done the unimaginable. That’s right – I have generously split this column with senior Kappa Kappa Gamma Alex Cummings, to get the inside scoop on Greek life. Enjoy.

AC: Greetings, everyone. For those of you who don’t know me, my name is Alex Cummings. I am a proud member of the Eta Zeta chapter of Kappa Kappa Gamma, where I serve as philanthropy chairperson; so obviously, I love to raise awareness, much like all my fellow Greeks.

After reading numerous articles about Brian’s opinion on Greek life, I thought, “Who does this guy think he is?”  I always thought he just needed a little more insight and a better perspective on everything that Greek life has to offer. But after countless encounters with Brian at the ‘Tween, we decided to team up and take the news by storm to offer both sides, Greek and non-Greek, in a friendly dialogue.

BB: So, Alex, let’s start by clearing up some of my confusion. Last weekend, as I so often do, I saw you at the Inn Between and came over to say hi to you. To my surprise, you were unusually brief and had to leave quickly. I assumed it was just because you were absurdly hungry for the new-and-improved Millor. But when this happened three other times with my other Greek-affiliated lady friends, I couldn’t imagine what I had done. Did I say something wrong? Was I wearing too much Axe? Maybe I simply don’t appeal to women anymore?

AC: Well, Brian, I actually always am absurdly hungry; and for those who know me well, when it comes to food, it’s on like Donkey Kong. And you were wearing slightly too much Axe; but I thought you were simply trying to impress me. Anyway, I was so quick to escape your presence because this past weekend was the annual recruitment weekend. During recruitment, the women of sorority life are encouraged to focus on spending that time with their sisters in preparation of welcoming their precious new members and expanding their involvement on campus.

BB: Fair enough. But it seems like everywhere I turn, I see more and more Greek letters. Tell me honestly – are you Greeks trying to surreptitiously annex JCU? If so, I’m onto you…

AC: Oh puh-lease …. Greek life is growing faster than a teenage growth spurt here on John Carroll’s campus, which is awesome. Recruitment is a lovely way to get fine women and men, like yourself, involved on campus and to establish relationships that last a lifetime. You can also see how diverse Greek life is at JCU, because if you look at other JCU organizations, you will most likely find a member of Greek life a part of it; and they are all doing incredible things.

BB: Hm, you definitely have me intrigued. I’m still a little bit scared of how it all works though. You see, I recently watched Disney’s “Hercules” (a film about life for ancient Greeks), and I understand that the young Megara had to sell her soul to the god of the underworld. So how can I get the full Greek experience without having to pledge my soul to Hades?

AC:  I do love a good Disney movie. Once upon a time, it was my dream to become a princess, but I won’t bore you guys with my childhood fantasies. In order to get the full Greek experience, you’ll have to go through fraternity recruitment and go from there. From not only my own experience, but others as well, going Greek made an incredibly positive impact on my college experience. With that being said, congratulations to all the women of Greek life for a very successful recruitment weekend. Go Greek, Go Streak!

BB: Thanks for broadening my horizons, Alex. Maybe I’m not quite ready to be the “balanced man” that Greek life requires. But I definitely have a more complete understanding of the secret life behind fobbed doors. For now, though, I think I’m going to stick with my own fraternity, Bayer Eta Pi.