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Avada kedavra and the like

May 3rd, 2012

I’m a nerd.

That being said, let me launch into a great display of my self-proclaimed nerdiness.

Being a reader of many books, I have read about some of the most fantastic wizards of all time. The list boils down to a main six.

So, my big question is: Who would be the ultimate victor in a “great wizards of literature” battle?

Each of our contenders has pros and cons. Each one has a different strength. All of them have a weakness. Most of them have really intense beards.

We begin with Gandalf the Grey. Hailing from Middle Earth, you most likely recognize him from the books “The Hobbit” or “The Fellowship of the Ring.” His pros include:  those gigantic eyebrows (though I’m not sure how much good they would do him in a fight), his smoke-ring-making ability, his defeat of the Balrog in the Mines of Moria and his utterance of the immortal line, “You shall not pass.” Also, he is never late; he always arrives precisely when he means to.

His cons include the fact that he probably has contracted the black lung and he couldn’t defeat Saruman. Also, he got totally wiped out after his defeat of the Balrog and returned to Middle Earth as Gandalf the White, who just so happens to be our second contender.

Gandalf the White’s most obvious pro is that he is Gandalf the Grey re-incarnate and more powerful. Another thing that he has going for him is that he defeated Saruman, who is no doubt a very powerful (but corrupt) wizard.

Gandalf the White is not only good at magic, but he is a physical powerhouse. He has mastered the art of wrecking everyone with his staff. He also employs Shadowfax (his horse) more so than Gandalf the Grey did.

Gandalf the White really only has one con: he has a lot of plans that need to be implemented through other people. Although, if we’re going to count that as one of his cons, then it has to be one of Dumbledore’s cons too.

And Dumbledore just so happens to be the next on our list. Perhaps the greatest wizard of his time, he comes from somewhere deep in the Scottish Highlands; but you probably know him best from Harry Potter. Dumbledore has several pros, including the aforementioned “the greatest wizard of his time.” He also defeated the wizard Grindelwald and is the only wizard that Voldemort fears. He is also pretty great at spells and the like, and he also has a pet phoenix.

Dumbledore, however, does have a bit going against him. He never really happens to be around when you need him, and then he always shows up just in the nick of time. He also may have killed his younger sister, which is never a positive thing. He does not have a particularly intimidating name, either.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, we find Voldemort, who does have a rather intimidating name (a combination of the French words ‘vole de mort’ meaning ‘stealer of death’). Voldemort is the most evil wizard on our list and his pros are that he is merciless, ruthless and ugly enough to scare you to death. He is also immortal until you destroy his horcruxes.

Yet, his horcruxes were destroyed by a 17-year-old who eventually defeated him, which is a major con. Also, he has no beard. He also rushes into the duel of his life before taking the time to learn the whole story and is thus defeated.

Merlin is the original wizard, which is a major benefit for him. He also must be good, since he is employed by a king. He also is a big help in Arthur’s rise to power, which spurred on years of British folklore in which it is said that he has the power to shape-shift (although that’s disputed). Cons? Well, he was eventually imprisoned in a tree (although in some legends it’s a cave, or a tower or a large rock). Bet you didn’t see that one coming.

The great and powerful Wizard of Oz is the final wizard. Coming to us from The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, he definitely has the intimidation factor going for him, but that seems to be about it. As we all know, he is really just a man behind a curtain who is really good with smoke and mirrors. Also the fact that he is a con is a huge con.

My mother is convinced that The Wizard of Oz would win because he makes you believe in yourself and “that is the most powerful magic of all.” I’m not so convinced. What do you think? Nerds everywhere, I would like your feedback. Who would win? Who would get offed first? Who would end up crying in a corner? I would honestly like to know.