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Summer movie explosion!

March 29th, 2012

It’s almost summer movie season! It’s the time of year when fight scenes and explosions reign, and all those artsy movies can buzz off. Grab some popcorn and take a seat as The CN gives you the run down on this summer’s biggest flicks.

The Avengers (May 4)

The movie all you nerds have been waiting for, “The Avengers,” finally arrives in early May, starting the summer movie season off with a bang of exploding aliens, gods, superhumans and really smart billionaires in a fight to save the world. It’s Iron Man, Captain America, Thor, Hulk, Black Widow and Samuel L. Jackson all in one movie. What’s not to like? Better leave the girlfriend at home for this one. Just kidding, we know you don’t have one.

Dark Shadows (May 11)

Tim Burton brings the TV cult classic to the big screen. In what has to be the most shocking casting choices of the century, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter star as two family members who are separated by a large age difference. You see, Depp stars as Barnabas Collins,  a vampire who must lift his curse.

Battleship (May 18)

Based on the popular board game, “Battleship” has battleships battling against an alien race that threatens Earth. We’re not kidding, this really is a thing. It has Rihanna.

Snow White and the Huntsman (June 1)
In this “gritty” reimagining of the classic fairy tale, Snow White takes on the evil Queen with her Huntsmen friends, who are totally cooler than lame dwarves. Also, producers try to convince us that Kristen Stewart is hotter than Charlize Theron. Yeah, OK. Although, Stewart does promise she will have less heavy breathing and empty staring in this one compared to her other films.
Prometheus (June 8)

Over 30 years since the release of “Alien,” Ridley Scott returns to the sci-fi genre with this hugely anticipated flick that serves as a prequel to that film. The movie stars Michael Fassbender and Noomi Rapace as astronauts who think they’ve discovered an alien race that holds the secrets to the beginning of mankind, until they all started getting killed in horrific ways.

Brave (June 22)
Pixar is back and is looking to redeem itself after the critical failure of “Cars 2.” “Brave” tells the story of Princess Merida, a young Scottish girl who must break the conventions of her society and go on a quest to undo a beastly curse. “Brave” promises to be the only big summer movie that isn’t a sequel, prequel or threequel and isn’t based on a TV show, fairy tale, comic book, regular book, older movie, board game, YouTube video or iPod app.
The Amazing Spider-Man (July 3)

Because five years without a Spider-Man movie is just impossible, Sony brings you yet another superhero reboot. Luckily, someone was smart enough to cast Emma Stone (“The Help”) and Andrew Garfield (“The Social Network”) as Gwen Stacy and the webslinger himself, respectively. This time around, it’s Peter Parker’s professor, Dr. Connors, who gets in a genetic experiment gone wrong and becomes The Lizard. Our hero Spidey must do his best to protect New York but also protect his friend, Dr. Connors. Spider-Man dons a new suit in the new flick, and it’s directed by Marc Webb. Webb! Get it? But seriously.

The Dark Knight Rises (July 20)

This is it, ladies and gentlemen. Christopher Nolan’s final film in his Batman trilogy, and what will surely be the greatest movie of all time arrives in just under four months. You are not ready. Bruce Wayne has retired Batman and eight years have passed since the death of Harvey Dent. Bruce must bring the caped crusader out of retirement when terrorist leader Bane threatens to destroy the entire city. Explosions! Car flipping! Catwoman! Joseph Gordon-Levitt! Shut up and take my money!

The Bourne Legacy (Aug. 3)

The fourth and (perhaps) final Bourne film stars Jeremy Renner as not Jason Bourne. I’m confused too. Renner plays a “Bourne-like” agent who must also find out the truth behind his origins. Bring your barf bags because there will be shaky-cam.