Gone are the days when a young man on a date would lay his coat down over a puddle for his lady friend. We no longer have the chivalrous knights of respect like Don Quixote. But, as Quixote accurately observed, following this code of chivalry has a degree of valor to it. And with Valentine’s Day just around the corner, I am calling all valiant men to stand your ground.
We live in a world that doesn’t even expect respect or courtesy between people. Perhaps we hold a door open for someone occasionally, but we go on to close the elevator on the same person later that day.
This oxymoronic display of helping others is baloney. You should be a good person for its own sake. You know what’s right, so just do it.
So let’s return to the idea of chivalry. A tangible code of chivalry was never actually written down, but came about around the 12th century.
It was generally understood that to be a knight, one had to follow specific virtues that emphasized the values of honor and courtly love. Among other edicts, this unwritten code decreed that men shall “respect the honour of women.”
I think we should stand by this code. I’m not proposing that as men we should go and fight dragons (or windmills) to defend the honor of women; but maybe we should reconsider the other actions we take (or don’t take) when dealing with our lady friends.
We should return to that quaint period when there was true respect for one another. And obviously, if we do encounter a dragon, we should fight it. But let’s be serious, who wouldn’t want that kind of a thrill?
Of course, there are those out there who would argue that this code is obsolete and smothers progress. We call these people feminists. And for some reason, they like paying for dates, stepping in puddles and opening their own car door.
I ascribe this to a misinterpretation of the gentlemanly acts. As good men, we do not pay for meals because it asserts our fiscal superiority over women. Granted, paying for an extravagant date can stroke the male ego, but c’mon ladies, can’t we have that one?
I think it’s a good thing that it makes us feel good. But the real reason we should do this is as a gesture of appreciation.
Now please, don’t get this confused with prostitution. I am not suggesting we need to pay for your company. But it’s a way for us to sacrifice something in a display of respect for your devotion to us. As men, we aren’t a pretty beast.
So it only follows logically that we feel the need to show that we are grateful for you putting up with us. If that means paying for a date or opening your car door for you, let us cater to these whims.
There are certainly forces against these genuine displays of courtesy. There are the people who label this civility as old-fashioned. But in the face of adversity, we must do what is proper. So as this Valentine’s Day rolls around, I call for all men of caliber to stand your ground.
