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Just my luck!

December 9th, 2010

It’s 12 degrees outside and you pass someone who is chasing their papers across the snow covered ground. It would be easy to simply pass by and let them chase it alone; but being the good Catholic that you are, you decide to help them collect their papers despite the frost-bitten temperatures. Whether or not you notice this, you have just made a deposit into the First National Bank of Karma. When you make your withdrawal from this bank, hopefully it will come in the form of good luck.

However, it’s not always this easy to get good luck points. For your knowledge, I would like to debut The Bayer Necessities’ Collegiate Hierarchy of Luck. So when you don’t feel like scoring karma points, you can always resort to one of the options listed below to find Lady Luck.

The first type of luck that I would like to examine is good luck. Fortunately, there are a lot of ways to get good luck. Of course, the more obscure a luck charm is, the more value it has in the luck hierarchy.

At the bottom of the list are “time-frame wishes” (the ones that you make at 11:11 and 12:34). The rules for this are simple – the more ones you can fit into a single observation of the clock or numbers you can arrange in numerically ascending order is allegedly good luck. That is why next year, on Nov. 11, 2011 at 11:11 you should take a moment to make your biggest time-frame wish. Make sure you do this at 11:11 a.m., because using military time, 11:11 p.m. is technically just 23:11, and there is nothing lucky about that.

One step up from this are dandelion and fortune cookie wishes. These are both dependent on your own willingness to look for a dandelion or a cookie and take the appropriate steps to acquire its fortune. For dandelions, you must blow all of the seeds off of the flower for your wish to come true; and for fortune cookies, you must eat the cookie after breaking it to keep your fortune.

The third tier is the epitome of the Hierarchy of Luck. This is where I have ranked rainbows, four-leaf clovers and shooting stars.

Now, finding pennies fall into that unique category of luck that can result in several outcomes – it’s a toss-up. If you find one heads up, then it’s your lucky day. Take advantage of this luck and do things you normally might not. However, if you find a heads-down penny, you have two choices.

First, you can simply leave it be. As long as you don’t touch it, it will not be bad luck. Or, you could take the karma route and flip the penny over so that the next person who finds it will find a heads-up penny. Of course, you wouldn’t get the immediate luck, but it is a good deposit into the karma bank.

Since this is the holiday season, I will not enumerate the omens of bad fortune. Those will come next semester, so stay tuned. Until then, may the Christmas spirit give you and your loved ones the best of fortune.