A candy corny column

October 28th, 2010

The Harvest Moon is high in the sky, and the last warm days of the year are slowly departing. As the leaves change colors and fall to the ground, I can’t help but be excited for the most festively haunting part of the year – Halloween! As any connoisseur of the holidays knows, Halloween consists of three major parts: costumes, decorations and candy. Without any one of these, it just isn’t a proper celebration. The following are my suggestions for a successful Halloween.

Number one: costumes. If a foreigner were to arrive on the shores of America on Oct. 31, they would think our country is a land of superheroes, promiscuous medical workers and gothic pagans. At first glance, it seems as though Halloween is a chance for people to adorn themselves in outlandish attire and pretend to be someone that they can’t be in their daily lives.

Although many people see this as an opportunity to be someone who they aren’t, I believe that Halloween is the one time of the year that people are true to themselves. If you dress up as Batman, maybe you have a subconscious desire to be a wealthy vigilante instead of an accountant at the local firm. If you sport the sexy nurse costume, then perhaps you are displaying your innate but hidden dreams of a career in medicine (just make sure to stay away from pediatrics). And finally, if you happen to be the one with a black pointed hat and a broomstick, then JCU probably isn’t the school for you and you may want to practice Wicca at a school where it is more socially acceptable (I suggest a state university).

Number two: decorations. There are certain elements of decor that are a must for the Halloween season. The first, of course, is a pumpkin. Carved or not, pumpkins are at the head of this holiday (and for Ichabod Crane they actually are his head). Other decorations may include creepy crawlies, fake spider webs, fog machines and ghosts. Lighting can be the most important aspect of October decor if done correctly. Spooky lights are always successful; and as long as you don’t have an epileptic friend, strobe lights are a staple.

Number three: trick or treating. Many kids wonder what age is the appropriate age to stop trick-or-treating. The answer – never! There is only one rule for trick-or-treating: when you are young, you can wear whatever you’d like. When you are past the age of 14, you must have an extravagant costume in order to compensate for pleading neighbors for candy.

In short, Halloween is a great chance to be yourself… your true self. Dress up, decorate and enjoy all the candy your pillow-case can hold. Oh, and one last thing: