Take what the defense gives you

September 16th, 2010

Do you ever have those moments where you feel like you can’t lose? Unless you’re John Wooden in the early 1970s, those don’t last very long. After pointing that out for you, your next logical thought is probably, “Yes Bob, you’re right! How can I make it last longer?”

First I would answer by saying “that’s what she said!” then I’d tell you the key to getting the most out of every situation is to just take what the defense gives you.

Yep, that’s all there is to it.

Saying it is pretty easy, but putting that plan into action is a little more difficult. Begin by analyzing the situation. In order to “take” what the defense gives you, you have to see what it’s giving you.

That might seem really obvious, but you’d be amazed at how easy it is to overlook that part of the process when you’re in the heat of the moment. As a matter of fact, go ahead and read that part again, I’m  in no rush.

OK, so after you analyze the situation, formulate several plans of action (POA for short), then choose the best one and follow through.

I know some people are visual learners, others are auditory learners, but pretty much everyone understands something better if they’re given examples of it. Therefore, as the self-appointed chair of the “Life Skills” department at JCU (which features such classes as Last Year Seminar, Business Stats and Raquetball), I will elaborate in order to better serve you, my students.

Scenario: you interrupt someone’s acceptance speech on a nationally-televised awards show and are metaphorically stoned by the media. Then you’re invited back to that same award show the next year.

Analysis: You can use the public forum to get revenge or redemption. First POA: Interrupt someone else this year. Second POA: Let Taylor Swift finish. Third POA: Write a clever song that both acknowledges your own faults and the overreaction everyone else had to them.

Now let’s try a more relatable example. Say you’re walking into class and you notice somebody that you’d like to sit next to, but someone else is already sitting by them.

Analysis: The primary objective is being blocked. First POA: Throw a hissy fit, and ask the professor to tell the person that’s sitting in the seat you want to move to a different seat. Second POA: Take the remaining seat with the closest proximity to the person you want to sit by. Third POA: Drop the class. Fourth POA: Tell the “opponent” that studies show students who sit in that seat typically receive a lower grade in the class.

College kids are gullible, and easily persuaded. It’ll work.

I didn’t have to give you this advice, I could have kept it to myself and watched you all force up midrange jumpers to beat the shot clock, but that’s not doing you, your team, or the bandwagon fans any good.

Don’t believe me? Ask LeBron James. He won’t answer your question, but he will donate any proceeds from your encounter with him to the Boys & Girls Clubs of America.

I can’t knock his hustle, though. When the defense already has to worry about Dwyane Wade it means they’ll be giving him a lot of opportunities. He might be disloyal, but he knows how to read a defense.

Well, unless it’s game five or six against the Celtics, but for the sake of my argument I’m calling a three second violation on the defense. Shout out to Tim Donaghy!