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Ballin’ on a budget (the go broke remix)

February 25th, 2010

This isn’t the Business Corner, but I am going to talk about financial stuff this week.

For those of you who have been following me since the beginning of my CN career, you might remember that about two years ago I wrote a column titled “Ballin’ on a Budget (BOB)” in which I gave advice on how to live an extravagant lifestyle as a college student without spending much money.

Given the fact that we went into that whole recession thingy right after my column hit the newsstands, I’ve been hailed as a prophet of sorts.

Now, I’m not here to brag about what I may or may not have predicted/caused/prepared the world for, rather I’m here to tell you that saving money is not as important as I said it was.

That’s right, don’t worry about money. You’re in college, you’re going to be in debt when you graduate no matter what. You might as well impress gold diggers and send your bank account out with a bang.

I bet you’re sitting there asking questions like “how the heck am I supposed to do that?” and “what kind of authority do you have to dispense financial advice to your peers?” As usual, I’ve got the answers.

First thing’s first, how the heck are you supposed to stop caring about money enough to spend it at will? Just stop caring. Seriously, just stop caring.

Let’s be real, you’re not going to have a lot in your bank account when you graduate anyway, so why not just run that budget into the red beforehand? Nobody likes a stingy person.

Personally, I have a multitude of ways to deplete my finances, and all of them are awesome. I’ll buy stuff for people, I’ll donate to organizations, and sometimes I’ll just leave a couple bucks in the middle of the hallway for the next person to pick up.

If I’m hanging out with one of my friends or with my team and we’re buying something, I’m all about paying my share and then some. I’m not signed to Cash Money Records, but I’ve got money to blow, so I do it.

Last week WJCU had its Radiothon, so I figured why not toss some money their way. I walked into the studio and dropped a cash donation on them. Turns out they couldn’t accept cash donations, so we had to work around that fact, but the moral of the story is that I woke up the next morning feeling like P. Diddy.

The only kind of currency I won’t use to “ball” with is the penny. If there are pennies on the floor, I usually just throw them away, like into a garbage can. I feel like it’s a great way to pay homage to Abraham Lincoln, the man whose face appears on the coin, by emancipating them from being spent. I’m all about patriotism.

As for why I’m a legitimate source of financial advice, well, that’s pretty simple: my name is Bob which happens to be the abbreviation for “Ballin’ on a Budget” and, even more impressive than that, I’m not broke yet.

So there you have it, the whole process broken down in 500 words, and I’ve done my duty yet again by re-defining “Ballin’ on a Budget” whenever it’s convenient for me.