Fall conspiracy?

November 19th, 2009

I thought the John Carroll administration said they don’t sweep things under the rug. From what I’ve seen recently, they most definitely do.  Literally.

Fall has always been my favorite season. Besides the much needed break from the scorching heat and uncomfortable humidity in non-air-conditioned dorms, there’s just something unexplainable about the earthy colors and overall atmosphere that surrounds this beautiful season. Personally, I miss the “good ol’ days” when we’d rake up the leaves and jump in them off the swing in the backyard. Taking long walks and hearing the soft crunch of fresh-fallen leaves under my feet calms the soul.

I was told by a friend back home that Fall started long ago but I laughed in his face. I told him if Fall was really upon us I’d be out frolicking in a bounty of leaves. When I looked it up on Wikipedia I found out that, in fact, Fall did begin on Sept. 22. Shocked, I explored this further and realized that besides a few days here and there, the weather was in truth getting colder. Not wanting to, I looked up and was startled to see most of the leaves missing from the trees from where they used to sway. As the leaves continued to disappear off the trees I couldn’t, for the life of me, figure out where they went.

After further investigation, I place the blame on the John Carroll administration who, I’m convinced, has conspired to cover up Fall. Literally, I have seen more leaves protruding from under the rugs in the atrium than on this entire campus. Campus groundskeepers work countless hours, trying to clean up the after effects of a beautiful, natural occurrence. They take this so seriously, I saw an employee chasing a leaf on his gator as if this one leaf escaping would expose the entire plan. I probably wasn’t even supposed to see that happen.

Now why the administration would choose to cover up Fall, I’m not sure. Perhaps they don’t want us to go home for Thanksgiving. But if we can’t go home, neither can they, so I doubt that’s the case. Maybe they figure by covering up Fall, winter won’t come. Are they practicing the art of covering winter’s snow? And yes, winter is coming. You might not hear it from administrators, but after studying the patterns of Cleveland’s history, soon after the leaves fall, snow falls. And we all know by the lack of snow days at John Carroll that the administration has long been trying to cover up the reality of the winter months. After the amazing efforts to hide Fall this year, I am very anxious to see how well the administration covers up the snowy time of the year which, whether the administration will tell us or not, will soon be upon us.

And, while I’m at it, why does the administration insist on covering up a Tuesday with a Friday? Perhaps a topic for another week.

With tongue in cheek,