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Guys, smooth or not, don’t say this

October 15th, 2009

Commentary

In light of our Homecoming experiences, we decided that the John Carroll male community should be educated on what not to say to members of the opposite sex.

In college, we find ourselves in situations that can result in a successful social night, or a complete failure. More often than not, it ends in disaster.

Lines such as “Want a bite of my cookie?” and “I don’t know if you can already tell, but I think you’re a pretty good dancer” at the time seem impeccable, but in retrospect turn out to be a blow to social credibility and an embarrassment.

Now when a girl says, “I don’t want anymore food. I feel fat.” Clearly, don’t say, “Aww, but you’re still really nice.” Instead say something about how great she looks and her breathtaking beauty.

If a girl asks if she is pretty, answer without hesitation regardless of whether it’s “yes” or “no,” because hesitation is a sign of weakness.

Often times introductions happen at public places such as restaurants, bars or parties. Don’t say, “Hey, how’s the shrimp taste?” Why? Because it makes no sense and it’s not topical, and clearly you haven’t read or understood the rules of argumentation and debate taught by Brent Brossmann.

For those with a significant other, if she begins to cry don’t say, “Stop crying, tissues cost a lot.” She might be under the impression that you think she’s a gold digger.

Annika Harris, of CNN.com, wrote that under no circumstances should a guy say to a girl, “You’re being crazy” while arguing. Although it may be a 100 percent true statement, for self-preservation and fewer hospital bills, it’s better to say, “You’re right, honey.”

Harris also proposes the scenario of what to do when a girl is late for a date because she is getting ready. When she finally shows up, guys shouldn’t say, “Wow, that extra time really didn’t make a difference.”

Sophomore Meghan Everett once received a text from a guy that she hadn’t talked to in three months that said, “So I’m guessing I’m nothing?” Well, it was a valiant effort, but let’s just say it reeks of desperation, which girls can sense from 3,000 miles away.

College students often find themselves at social gatherings outside of school. New people. Unfamiliar faces. New opportunities. In one instance, sophomore Katherine O’Brien, who also has a twin sister at JCU, recollected when a fellow student asked her, “Which twin is better?”

Other lines that are probably best said in your head are: “Before I make any commitments, do you have any pictures of your mom handy so I can see what my future looks like,” “That’s what she said,” and after meeting her, “You won’t give me your number.”

Guys. Let’s think before we say something. Girls. It’s not always necessary to inflict pain after hearing a bonehead comment from a potential significant counterpart. It hurts more than you think.

Some things are just better left unsaid.

The CN’s top 10 things to never say to a girl:

DumbandDumber0031.) “You look better on Facebook.”

2.) “Feelings and sensitivity aren’t attractive.”

3.) “I sent you a text. Did you get it?”

4.) “So how many boyfriends have

you actually had?

5.) “So you’re saying there’s a chance?”

6.) “Is that what you’re actually wearing?”

7.) “Are those cankles?”

8.) “Are you really going to finish eating that?”

9.) “My ex always/never/used to…”

10.) “Hi! I’m Max Flessner!”