Flying high with Corey Haim

April 2nd, 2009

The hallowed hallways of this wonderful campus are often plastered with flyers advertising club meetings; student productions, such as plays or musicals; and even ads from the award-winning Carroll News asking for more writers. Even though the CN’s ads aren’t hung on a wall, this serves as an ever-present call for new/more writers.

However, last Thursday I witnessed the most interesting, thought-provoking and possibly most controversial flyer ever posted in the confines of academia. It was on a red piece of paper and it had a former Teen Beat cover boy’s face on it. Apparently, Corey Haim needed to be found, and we, the Blue Streaks, were the chosen few to find him. The flyer had a phone number and everything, so it had to be legit.

The only problem is that I saw it while on my way from a class to a meeting, so I didn’t really have time to take in the whole message. I figured I could just come back and read it again later that day, but just like Andrew Rafferty’s been telling me for the last two years, I was wrong. When I went back the next day the flyers had disappeared. Needless to say I was deeply disappointed and it seems that Corey Haim will remain a lost boy.

For those of you who didn’t pick up on it, one of Haim’s most famous roles was in a movie called “The Lost Boys,” which strengthens my case that what See says should come with footnotes of some kind. I’ll work on it.

The signs did accomplish something in their brief time on campus. They inspired me. No, I’m not going to go on a quest to find Corey Haim. However, I have considered the possibilities presented by flyers and the power the flyer-maker wields. Had I been given a chance to take in all of the information about this Corey Haim search party, I’m sure I would have found it even funnier than I already do and might have even put forth a minor effort to help the cause.

That’s quite the introduction, but we didn’t come down this road just to hit a dead end. There’s a detour. Now comes the part where I list my own crazy ideas for flyers around campus. Get your popcorn ready.

Flyers are just a cool idea. Put some ideas on paper and post it where it’ll be seen. They have the ability to change the world. It’s like putting something in the daily allstu e-mail except people might actually read it.

Imagine for a second, a piece of gold paper that read “find the end of the rainbow” and it provided an address. Who wouldn’t visit that address in hopes of finding a vertically challenged man in a green three-piece suit sitting on a pot full of coins? I’d be there faster than you can say, “blarney stone.”

You’re walking down the hallway and a white sheet on the wall catches your eye. At first you can’t tell that there’s any writing on it, but upon further investigation you notice a faint text that says, “Don’t let this flyer go unnoticed, come to a screening of the straight-to-DVD movie ‘Casper the Friendly Ghost: You Can’t See Me’ starring John Cena. Put on by the James A. Bohannon Foundation for a More Relevant Building.” That one would sell out faster than a JCU men’s basketball sweet 16 game.

After a restless night, you sleepily make your way to your 8 a.m. class. You brush against a bulletin board and feel something tickle your arm. You look up and find a flyer with Velcro on it arranged to spell out “Beard Club for Men, looking for new members, call 424-559-6297 or 4-Billy Mays” and then in fine print at the bottom, “A special thanks to the Arts & Crafts club for help with this design.”

I think we’re in need of a flyer revolution at JCU. The student body can be seen as apathetic, but we’re just lacking motivation. Put a message on a pastel-colored 8.5×11 sheet of paper and watch people start talking. Mix in a little creativity with a semi-legitimate cause and you’ve got your own mini-movement bubbling on campus. If executed properly it could generate more buzz than a military’s barbershop.

Whoever posted Corey Haim in the hallway across from Einstein’s, whether they were serious or just pulling an elaborate and hilarious prank, certainly caught my attention, and now I’ve caught yours. Talk about paying it forward.

Not convinced that flyers can change the world? Good, because I’ve saved the best for last.

In a similar vein to Haim’s, I’d love to see a flyer searching for the Feld-dog, Corey Feldman. I mean, obviously it would be great if we knew where Haim was, but how much better would it be if we reunited him with his “Two Coreys” counterpart?

I’ll just let you marinate on that for awhile.