And thats a wrap on Fall Semester – thank God.

December 6th, 2007

You would think that after a much needed two week hiatus from The Carroll News, someone with my superior intellect would come back with another ingenious column. However, I am completely swamped with school work so I will take this opportunity simply to vent about pretty much anything I want. Let’s begin with Christmas shall we? If I can even still call it that.

I love this time of year; with beautiful lights everywhere, the smell of ginger bread houses cooking in the oven, the prospect of getting gifts from loved ones, and most importantly, the litany of complaints from the politically correct crowd. Remember kids, this year, Christmas trees will be referred to as Holiday trees and Menorahs are now holiday candle holders. Also, Santa should be banned because his being fat and all is a bad message to send to little kids. Let’s just hope your local Santa doesn’t run into Chris Hanson and Dateline this holiday season.

What else? Oh, I know what else drives me nuts – global warming. Well not the actual warming part, but the people who claim it exists. Al Gore Won the Nobel Peace Prize for his movie about the subject, unfortunately the Nobel people did not get the memo that global warming has absolutely zilch to do with peace. Gore actually beat out an elderly woman who saved thousands of children from certain death in Nazi concentration camps during World War II. I’m sure she was thrilled.

But of course, the decision wasn’t political. I mean honestly, if the world was heating up, why is that such a bad thing? Have you people been outside lately? It’s freezing! Seventy degree weather in December sounds pretty good to me. Not to mention we would all save a fortune on traveling to warm places during the winter. Furthermore, if the ice caps melt and the oceans rise, that just means we’re closer to the beach. By the way, Al Gore traveled to receive his Nobel Prize on a private jet, and those don’t pollute the air or anything.
Speaking of politics, I watched the Republican YouTube debate last week on CNN. That’s right, I have no life. Not surprisingly, the Clinton News Network, or the Commie News Network, or Crappy News Network, which ever you prefer, did not disappoint. This debate was for Republicans to make up their minds on which primary candidate they want to vote for next year, so naturally CNN decided to go out of their way to let Democrats ask many of the questions.

In fact, a retired Army general, who turned out to be gay, asked about the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy in his video question. After the candidates answered it, the moderator of the debate, Anderson Cooper, turned to the audience where, you guess it, the general was seated. Cooper asked the man if the candidates had sufficiently answered his question, and of course the man said they hadn’t. Afterwards, some research showed that this man was actually working for Hillary Clinton.
So, CNN paid for a Democrat working for a Democrat to fly from California to Florida to attend and ask a question at a debate of Republicans for Republicans. But Fox News is the most biased cable news channel – duh. By the way, the Democrats have boycotted debating on Fox News because they are total cowards.

Lastly, I want to talk a little bit about the situation in Sudan with the teacher who named a teddy bear Muhammed and was actually jailed for it. If that wasn’t bad enough, there were mass protests in the country asking for this poor woman to be executed! I mean you have got to be kidding me. It is stupidity like this that breeds hatred and racism. Remember a year ago when large numbers of Muslims went crazy because of an editorial cartoon? Now, thousands of them took to the street to demand the death of a good woman who is in their country to teach their children because of the name she gave to a stuffed animal. Luckily this story had a happy ending as she was pardond by the Sudanesee president, but the situation still illustrates that some areas on this planet have some serious issues.

Alright, on that note I am going to call it a semester. But I want to thank everyone who has read my column. I especially want to thank those who wrote letters to the paper about me (see Op-Ed). Even though many of you write about how stupid I am, and occasionally use profanity to do so, it means a lot to know you care enough to write in. Thanks again. Have a great and safe break everyone and I’ll see you in January.