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A lack of legitimate love

September 6th, 2007

One night this past summer my friend eagerly recounted seeing an elderly couple walking around the quad at dusk,  hand in hand. She remarked how beautiful it was to see two people who have seemingly been together for so long still  showing their love.

I agreed, but also commented on how distraught this made me feel. Seeing two older people still showing their love?  Why was this so rare that my friend felt the need to point it out?

A recent Time Magazine article was devoted entirely to questioning where all the good romance blockbusters have  gone, citing there hasn’t been a major romance movie to make it big since Titanic, and that was ten years ago (can you  believe it’s been ten years!).

In the absence of Kate and Jack we fill the gap with movies from the comfortable section of the pool, where we can still  touch the bottom, but yet are left unmoved and uninspired.

Unfortunately, more and more we are treating relationships like these movies, just small segments of time that we can plunge head first into, but can quickly put away and leave on the DVD rack.

Instead of taking the time to get to know people we make snap judgments and quickly move on. Finding someone who is truly compatible in multiple ways, romantic relationships are trumped by silly flings, or worse, long-term disasters that end in divorce.

In the face of a few setbacks we just can’t find the hope and willpower we need to continue. It isn’t that we hate more, but that we are becoming more indifferent. My CO 200 Interpersonal Communication book said, “The opposite of love is not hate, it’s indifference.”

Thankfully, this isn’t the case for everyone. There are people who are opening their eyes to the state of the world and are making intentional changes in their lives.

Starting with caring and making an effort to get to know the people to whom they come in contact. The benefits continue to unfold.

The easiest way to start loving more might be to first discover who you are. Try keeping a journal.

Write a few sentences every night and you’ll not only be amazed how easy it becomes after only two weeks, but also how much it helps maintain other routines and goals. It also becomes a tool for personal reflection.

Many say technology is bringing us closer. How did we scope out perspective roommates or love interests before Facebook?

The article in Time, however, questioned whether the lack of love was due to people being less willing to persevere.

Imagine what we would perceive as true love and romance if, “So Juliet’s a Capulet? Too bad, back to Facebook!” had been the case.