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Facebook Breakups; The End?

April 19th, 2007

“OK! That’s it! And I’m going to cancel our relationship on Facebook too, we’re done.”
How far will it go? I guarantee that our parents did not have to handle anything as monumental in their failed romances as a small pink graphic with a tear down the center.

An announcement is displayed on the news feeds of your 330 closest friends and a yellow highlight that makes the word “Single” look like a definition for your next poly-sci test.

Once again, proving that Facebook has become a larger part of our young lives.
It seems that every little change we make cannot go without noticing on Facebook. There is almost nothing that the system does not cover anymore which is made obvious in situations such as your spring break plans or your upcoming events.

Although all of these situations are personal and somewhat intimate, there is something different about ending a romance via Facebook.

So, I have come up with scenarios that attempt to explain this strange phenomenon.
First off, is the shaky hands theory, which is often characterized by a breakup at 5:43 p.m., a single status at 6:01 p.m. and then back to a relationship by 8:03 p.m. that same evening. Here, the daters are unsure of the relationship to begin with, but they panic when they see their status in yellow highlight.

Two, is the gentle let-down theory which is characterized by going from “In a Relationship” to nothing at all. Here, either one or both of the people in the relationship try to let go of the relationship without any hitches and subtly remove the information instead.

And three, the “just kidding” theory. Often characterized by users who shift between “complicated”, “married”, and “engaged” with ease. This theory very often suggests some sort of tension between the two Facebookers, spite towards another relationship or sheer boredom.

So is Facebook the be all, end all of the relationship? I’d like to say no, but there seems to be some sort of finality in actually cancelling a relationship. It’s severing ties, turning to a new chapter in one’s life, it’s a lost hyperlink in one’s life.

Still don’t get it? Well, here’s some food for thought. If Facebook continues its trend and continues to be where college students get their news/updates on friends it could completely replace any of the former cliché lines.

Lines such as, “It’s not you, it’s me” and “I’m only doing this because I think you deserve much better” will no longer be received by the conventional sobs and pleases but the following:

I often wonder if the “dumped” in the relationship sits there crying and says, “How could you? Don’t you remember who we were six months ago? Don’t you remember my confirmation e-mail? What happened?”

Think its scary now? Wait until Facebook comes out with the revenge staus…