For the most part, you can find stuff to do at John Carroll University. For example, last weekend you might have brought up your younger siblings and exposed them to things like Parkhurst and drunken college students.
I’m not sure which is worse.
But, maybe around 3 p.m. on a Tuesday, things can start to drag.
When you don’t really have any homework and you’ve run out of people to stalk on Facebook, here are some ways to spice up your day.
SUPB should be paying me for this.
Play Aaron Carter on the juke box in the Atrium during the lunchtime rush.
Yell “I can’t take this anymore” in the middle of the library and then throw your backpack out of the window.
Drive up to people on campus and ask them where John Carroll East Campus is.
Grunt really loud while lifting 5 lbs. weights in the Corbo. Eat a Chipotle burrito while running on a treadmill. Try to join a pickup basketball game while wearing short jean shorts (jorts) and protective eye wear. Go into the intramural gym and start running suicides, wearing the same apparel. Rollerblade around the suspended track.
Use a nickname for classes that use sign in sheets. I like to use Andrew “I’d rather be fishing” Rafferty.
On the way to class, walk up to random people, do a spin move and then run away.
Create a blog that makes fun of people who have blogs.
Go into Parkhurst wearing a suit and tie and stare at the food while taking notes. See if anyone says anything to you. When returning your tray, get on top of it and ride it into the dishwashing room.
Sit down with a random group of people eating in Parkhurst and act like nothing is out of the ordinary.
Walk into a random classroom, look around, say, “This isn’t where I parked my car,” and walk out.
Wear sunglasses through an entire class. Cut out eyeholes in a newspaper and sit in the O’Malley Center staring at people.
Hand out invitations to a party in your dorm room.
Go door to door asking people if they’re interested in becoming a Jehovah’s Witness and when they say no, say, “Neither am I, sucka.”
Send random Facebook messages to people you don’t know challenging them to a pie-eating contest.
Instead of saying “goodbye,” end conversations with “tater tots.”
Cut through the Quad on your way to class, wait, that is a horrible idea.
Have a sword fight across campus.
Play in a pickup football game and the first time you touch the ball take off in the opposite direction and don’t stop running.
Walk around campus with a boom box and a large clock draped around your neck. Yell “Flava Flav!” at random points during class.
Stand in the middle of the hall in the AD building doing the robot while classes get out.
Apologize to random people for not calling them back. Go to class with your face painted. Make your ring tone “Liv’n La vida Loca” by Ricky Martin and set it off during class. Enter into a plea bargin.