I have a confession to make.
In my entire 19 years of existence, I have never had a real relationship. The last time I came close to one was back in 7th grade, when I went out with a boy for about five minutes. How glorious those five minutes were in my life.
In all seriousness, though, I am the girl every guy considers their “best girl friend.” Not that I am complaining. I do like hearing my guy friends speak about the cute things they do for their girlfriends, and I love talking about how great the Indians will be this year.
But sometimes, I find myself wondering what a relationship would be like.
Everywhere I go, I see couples holding hands, kissing before class or eating a romantic dinner together in Parkhurst. I wonder to myself, what’s it like to be them?
Most of the time, these couples seem to enjoy one another’s company. I see them laughing, smiling and talking to one another.
On this very newspaper staff, I can only think of two or three people who do not have a significant other.
Not a day goes by that I do not see one of these significant others, and I can honestly say all of them are the epitome of being a good boyfriend or girlfriend.
They meet them for dinner, walk them back to their dorms or cars after a late deadline night and sometimes, they just stop by to chat and see how their night is going.
When I see this, I admit, I’m jealous. It would be nice not to have to buy my own candy from the Inn-Between.
But, I’ve also seen the worst relationships. Too many times I’ve heard stories about a girl who cheated on her boyfriend, or how a fight broke out at a bar because a couple had an argument. I certainly do not want these types of relationships.
These horror stories make me wonder if being in a relationship is wonderful and fulfilling after all.
But, as I reflect on this so close to Valentine’s Day, I can’t help but to also wonder what I am doing wrong. Maybe I’m too shy. Perhaps I give off a vibe that tells the guy next to me in English class to beware of the strange girl sitting next to him.
I certainly hope none of these scenarios are the case. I’d like to think that I just haven’t met the “right guy” for me yet, but he will be here soon.
Whatever the case may be, I know this for sure: In the next 19 years of my life, I will experience the joys, and maybe the pains, of a relationship. I hope.